Far from the MCC fines 28.05.17 v Isis CC (a) lost by 5 wkts

Recorded Fines

25p unless otherwise stated.

Name	Fine	Reason	Cost
Lee	Triggering Geoff	Silly fucker walking in front of his stumps yet again….
	Small wrist	Complaint
	Looking fucking terrible	Whilst batting
	Depth perception	…to The MAD batting, when clearly there wasn’t on this day
	Flirting with opposition	Walking out with bowler
	Drop		50p
	Continuing the collapse	Out just after Spam
	Missed opportunity
			£2.25
Gary T	Arguing
	Golden duck		£1.00
	Buffet		50p
	Self entrapment
	Poor pub choice	Arranging a meet at a closed pub
	Poor communication	Using Whatsapp to communicate with team when nobody used that app
	Festival avoidance	Oxford’s Common People (South Parks)
	Belly exposure	Short T-shirt
	Wallowing in self-pity	“I’m just not contributing to the team these days…” (extensive grumble)
	Ending MAD winning sequence	…against Isis CC
			£3.50
Russ	Self fulfilling prophecy	Dreaming he got a duck
	Impersonating Martin Luther King	“I [had] a dream.”
	Duck		50p
	Opening partnership < 25		50p
	Playing football	…instead of cricket (slide tackles in the field)
	Dissing the team
	Disheartened persona	“That’s three fucking games in a row I’ve been fucked off with….”
			£2.25
Spam	Instigating collapse
	Disobeying orders	Not waiting until 25th over before giving it the long handle (and holing out)
	Fabrication	Common People stories changing with every boring retelling
	Boring	(see above)
	Flirting with opposition	Congratulating them
	Leathery stomach	Sunburn
	Living in the past
	In love with Shorten	Romanticising his meeting Dave at Common people
	Doing fuck all	In the field
			£2.25
Reevsie	Seeing the opposition home	Getting totally carted
	Opening bowler no wicket		50p
	Drop	Tough chance at slip	50p
	Attempting to steal	…Gary’s buffet with some shit bowling
	Being down with the kidz	Retro T-shirt
	Living in the past	(see above)
			£2.00
Geoff	Boat avoidance	Didn’t moor his boat next to Queens College
	Drop	Tough chance as keeper	50p
	Duck avoidance
	Walking wicket	LBW yet again
	Arguing
	Clueless	Trying to justify walking across your stumps when batting
	Talking out his arse	Giving bowling advice (non bowler)
	Not being Geoff	Not drinking with Ian (“Me and Geoff”)
	Split loyalties	Scoring his runs for a Saturday team
			£2.50
Pearson	Going against tradition	Not turning up in his whites
	Going against tradition	Not leaving in his whites
	Golden duck		£1.00
	Aloof	Having his own personal foldaway chair
	Smugly aloof	His foldaway chair being an executive model
	Not caring	…about his performance
	Self importance
	Dissing the skipper
	Living in the past (smug aura)	Scoring the equivalent of the team score (113) a couple of years ago
			£3.00
Matt B	Average protection
	Overly friendly	Batting with entire team
	Turning up like a battle cruiser
	Impersonating Nick Hebbes	Mild Tourette’s
	Exposing everyone	To the opposition’s bowlers
	Hypochondriac	Complaining about his knees
			£1.50
JMO	Poor aspirations	No 5-for yet again
	Bullying fielders	Making them drop balls (off his bowling)
	Staring daggers	At the fielders dropping the catches
	Napping	During our batting
	Homing pigeon?!
			£1.25
Emerson	Impersonating a Brazilian	Gold football top
	Shoplifting	Failing to alert shopkeeper to his extra cans of Strongbow
	Duck		50p
	Being underhand	Messaging skipper
	Flirting with opposition	Eating on the Isis table as opposed to with his team mates
	Dodgy fielding	As per usual
	Poor umpiring	Incorrect signals
			£2.00
Jake	Pub avoidance	Going to the wrong pub
	Paying to drink at a closed pub	Parking his car at the Whitehouse (closed)
	Arguing
	Duck		50p
	Continuing collapse
			£1.50
		TOTAL	£24.00

*

Special Rates

Indiscretion	Cost
Duck	£0.50
Golden Duck	£1.00
Diamond or Platinum Duck	£2.00
Out Playing Reverse-sweep / Switch-hit	£1.00
Dropped Catch	£0.50
Opening Bowler No Wicket	£0.50
Opening Partnership < 25 Avoidance	£0.50
Smoking on the Pitch	£0.50
Drinking on the Pitch	£0.50
Missed Stumping	£0.50
Missed Run-Out	£0.50
Fines Folder Abuse	£0.50
Impersonating Billy Liar	£0.50
Having a Major Cob	£0.50
Having a Parkinson’s Cob (utter meltdown)	£1.00
Uber (anything) – particularly arrogant, smug or condescending	£0.50
Extreme (anything) – particularly Frowning	£0.50
Insulting the Fines Committee Chairman	£1.00
Insolvency / Unemployment (maximum limit) Known as the “Dobner Clause”	£1.00
Swearing in Front of Kids	£2.50
Bringing the Club into Disrepute* (* - Ruled on by the Captain)	£5.00*
Dissent (to On-field Umpires)	£5.00
Mongoose Multiplier (out using Goose)	x2