“Delia Puts on a Spread”
Match: 18
/ 468
Lost
by 16 runs
|
Team |
Total |
|
Battisford CC |
187 - 5 |
|
C. Roberts 1 - 8 |
|
|
|
|
|
FFTMCC |
171 - 6 |
|
I. Howarth 30*, R. Turner
29 |
|
|
Battisford CC toured
Oxfordshire in 2017, helping The MAD (and themselves) to get shitfaced at
Mansfield Road and play some cricket. In fact, the two teams also got
shitfaced before the game as well, the hosts hoping to boost their chances of
winning by getting their opponents addled pre-game in assorted inner city pubs. A wholly haphazard, unresearched strategy
came apart at the seams as soon as it was noted these
Unable to read or write, Henry the Farmer is
gifted a copy to look at some pictures. Located in MAD Numbers were swelled
on this day with the addition of James Hoskins, fresh from a seven hour
commute with his pet drone. Costing around half a grand (purportedly for his
upcoming wedding), this flying camera apparatus amused everyone, including
the bystanders at the Orwell Hotel earlier in the day when it got stuck in a
tree. Having won the captaincy
and won the toss, Captain Williams elected to give the farmers a wonderful
opportunity with their bats to smash a few windows and kill a few cattle.
They failed in both pursuits, however daylight did extend into nightfall with
balls regularly rediscovered from ditches, bushes and manicured gardens
belonging to high society (and Delia’s friends).
The bowling was shared
around with everyone getting a proper tonking, the standout being two overs
of quite memorable toss from Turner (2-0-37-0) which served as a delicious
precursor to the extensive barbeque post match. Of
the four humungous maximums endangering local birdlife, the one that
disappeared into a trench to find Hoskins entangled in brambles was the best.
That ball never was seen again, but an old pink one of unknown parentage was
thrown back for Russ to complete the over. It apparently did a bit off the
seam. All the Battisford
batsman enjoyed themselves, most retiring on reaching 30 after several lusty
blows, the unlucky one being Holman (18) who received the first ball bowled
by Hotson (2-0-25-1) to travel in a wicket taking trajectory since 2001. Poor
fucker. With Messrs Roberts (2-0-8-1) and Williams (2-0-13-1) completing the
bowling duties and 187-5 detailed on the board, the farmers headed back to
their cider barrels to invest their skillsets to the matter at hand. I’ve visited many
cricket clubs during my brief time on Mother Earth and I have to say that
this one I would place in the higher echelons that espouses that
all-encompassing feel good factor. A family club of multiple generations all
mucking in and bar the children, all on the piss to relish a good
slaughtering of a touring bunch of pissheads. By the interval the bar and
seating outside were rammed. T20 cricket on a Friday evening? It’ll never
catch on….
Rare shot of A. Darley hitting the ball / not getting
out. In reply, The MAD made a
decent fist of chasing the improbable total. Bob (13) mooed a few, Darley was
dropped a dozen times or caught off no-balls in making 28, whilst Turner (29)
counted all his way to retirement to get out and had to return to start a fight
with the scorers over a missing single. Howarth (30 ret) rode his luck and
Williams (21) did what Williams always does, by courting the eye with some
run-a-ball hitting and then getting himself out to a total prick shot (sound
familiar Howarth?) Chasing 188 in twenty
overs was always a ridiculous ask and ultimately it was, with a few desperate
swings of the bat from Hoskins (2), Bullock (2), Rundle (1*) and Hotson (2*)
illuminated by a stunning
Time for desert or
rather the aforementioned barbeque and fraternising
with the locals to get bladdered. The last sentence being a true barometer
for this club’s holy aspirations. A magnificent game, a
magnificent stage and magnificent hosts, we look forward to Part Trois and getting
these
‘Clement Chevallier’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Battisford CC Played at Moats Tye, Norfolk, 3 August
2018 Far from the MCC won the toss and
elected to field Battisford CC won by 16 runs Far from the MCC debuts: none |
18 / 468 20 over match |
|
Team |
Battisford CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
J. Rowson |
retired |
30 |
|
3 |
2 |
- |
|
2 |
J. Peacock |
c Hoskins b Darley |
14 |
|
2 |
1 |
1-19 |
|
3 |
R. Armstrong |
retired |
30 |
|
3 |
1 |
- |
|
4 |
R. Pryke |
retired |
32 |
|
3 |
3 |
- |
|
5 |
C. Holman |
b Hotson |
18 |
|
2 |
1 |
2-127 |
|
6 |
C. Bull * |
lbw b Hoskins |
2 |
|
- |
- |
3-127 |
|
7 |
T. Sillett
† |
c Williams b Roberts |
15 |
|
2 |
- |
4-168 |
|
8 |
J. Doughty |
b Williams |
26 |
|
5 |
- |
5-177 |
|
9 |
G. Prentice |
not out |
3 |
|
- |
- |
- |
|
10 |
J. Windsor |
not out |
10 |
|
1 |
- |
- |
|
11 |
H. Ruffle |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
W3, LB3, B1 |
7 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 5 wickets, 20 overs) |
187 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
|
1 |
Darley |
2 |
0 |
19 |
1 |
9.50 |
|
|
2 |
Howarth |
2 |
0 |
17 |
0 |
8.50 |
|
|
3 |
Newman-Robson |
2 |
0 |
14 |
0 |
7.00 |
|
|
4 |
Turner |
2 |
0 |
37 |
0 |
18.50 |
|
|
5 |
Rundle |
2 |
0 |
14 |
0 |
7.00 |
|
|
6 |
Hotson |
2 |
0 |
25 |
1 |
12.50 |
|
|
7 |
Hoskins |
2 |
0 |
16 |
1 |
8.00 |
|
|
8 |
Reeves |
2 |
0 |
21 |
0 |
10.50 |
|
|
9 |
Williams |
2 |
0 |
13 |
1 |
6.50 |
|
|
10 |
Roberts |
2 |
0 |
8 |
1 |
4.00 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Far from the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
R. P. Turner |
c Windsor b Armstrong |
29 |
(26) |
6 |
- |
3-91 |
|
2 |
C. D. Roberts |
b Bull |
13 |
(8) |
2 |
- |
1-23 |
|
3 |
A. Darley |
c Rawson b Prentice |
28 |
(27) |
4 |
1 |
2-83 |
|
4 |
I. Howarth |
retired |
30 |
(26) |
6 |
- |
- |
|
5 |
J. D. Hoskins |
b Rawson |
2 |
(9) |
- |
- |
4-110 |
|
6 |
C. T. J. Williams * |
b Armstrong |
21 |
(14) |
3 |
- |
5-166 |
|
7 |
M. Bullock † |
b Sillett |
2 |
(8) |
- |
- |
6-166 |
|
8 |
M. S. Rundle |
not out |
1 |
(4) |
- |
- |
- |
|
9 |
J. C. W. Hotson |
not out |
2 |
(1) |
- |
- |
- |
|
10 |
M. K. Reeves |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
J. Newman-Robson |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
NB3, W9, LB2, B29 |
43 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 6 wickets, 20 overs) |
171 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
|
1 |
Bull |
2 |
0 |
12 |
1 |
6.00 |
|
|
2 |
Niljaan |
2 |
0 |
20 |
0 |
10.00 |
|
|
3 |
Ruffle |
1 |
0 |
18 |
0 |
18.00 |
|
|
4 |
Windsor |
2 |
0 |
16 |
0 |
8.00 |
|
|
5 |
Prentice |
2.5 |
0 |
13 |
1 |
4.59 |
|
|
6 |
Pryke |
2 |
0 |
6 |
0 |
3.00 |
|
|
7 |
Armstrong |
2 |
0 |
2 |
2 |
1.00 |
|
|
8 |
Rawson |
1 |
0 |
12 |
1 |
12.00 |
|
|
9 |
Holman |
2 |
0 |
13 |
0 |
6.50 |
|
|
10 |
Peacock |
2 |
0 |
19 |
0 |
9.50 |
|
|
11 |
Sillett |
1.1 |
0 |
9 |
1 |
7.71 |
|
|
MOTM: A. Darley Champagne Moment: J. D. Hoskins’ routine catch
in the covers Buffet
Award: R. P. Turner’s full fat burgers
(seeded buns and extra relish) MAD
Moment: A. Darley’s flying and
landing of the drone |
Opposition:
V093 / 02 Ground: G094 / 01 Captain: C028 / 02 Match No: 20 / 123 |