“McCann Absent as Daley Falls on his Sword”
Match: 18
/ 446
Lost by
20 runs
|
Team |
Total |
|
Wolvercote CC |
140 - 4 |
|
M. Reeves
2 - 12 |
|
|
|
|
|
FFTMCC |
120 - 7 |
|
I. Howarth
30*, R. Turner 30* |
|
|
With the month of May
ushering in a belated cricket season, that posh and illusive school ground frequented
by Pearson Jr all those years ago ushered in the first T20 of the season.
With updates and bulletins coming through on text, email and FaceTime
relating to “horrific traffic on the Woodstock Road”, a MAD collective
descended some five hours early having (a) found the ground first time and (b)
discovered no issues with Woody Road.
PPV sales are reportedly good for coverage of
Shorten’s 2018 T20 Circus (right). The spare three hundred
minutes or so were taken up with idle chatter concerning Russ finally scoring
some runs at the weekend, Howarth’s Greek tan and Vermaak’s absence in any
action shots since he started playing for the club. Having lied about the
state of the transport network and snow in surrounding villages, Mellor now bitched on about the demise of his pink golf visor.
Elsewhere Midge was let off her lead to savage a few dozen muntjacs and Jake
realised his wasn’t among the playing staff having
driven the eight hours from Banbury. Batting first, the
bedrock of the Wolvercote innings was provided by their muscular skipper, Mr McKintyre (35 ret), whose sweet South African timing of
the ball made a mockery of the massive outfield. He particularly enjoyed the
express 63.1 mph++ bowling of A. Darley (4-0-26-1), who was spanked to mid on, long on, deep mid on
and deep tractor shed longest on.
Note Andrew’s bowling map at Lords, with four of
his deliveries sat nicely in that V for driving (to a RH bat). The home side’s progress
was checked firstly by the vertical Roberts (3-0-20-0), who seemed to enjoy
the bouncy pitch, and then the evergreen Reeves (3-0-12-2), who even in a
rain-wrapped tornado in the dark would still appear… well, green. Less green were Messrs Shorten (3-0-24-0)
and Timms (3-0-18-1), and although they are purportedly younger in age, their
birth certificates remain an unknown. Vermaak (2-0-24-0) would later cop some
tonk, whilst Howarth (2-0-6-0) somehow returned economy despite his own
admission of bowling only one good ball. With 141 needed for
victory, a mid-innings delay unfolded as Skipper Shorten struggled to read
his own hand-writing. Still flustered after half an
hour, he looked up from some crumpled paper and chose the two guys stood nearest
to open the batting. Without checking recent
history, this is the first time Williams and Howarth have ever batted
together, or maybe it isn’t. About a decade in the
making, their combination was utterly absorbing in its complete absence of
application. Williams (14) recorded his first dot balls of the year (2 of
them, although 3 if you count his dismissal), whilst the latter pulled some
wonderful shots off the splice of his bat in notching 30 off 24 balls
(retired). At this point in the
game a hushed silence descended on The MAD boundary with the appearance
George Cole. With the famed actor eschewing his coat and trilby in favour of
cricketing attire, Arthur Daley walked out to bat at number four. Could he
bat? And what was he doing here? We soon found out the answer to the first
question as he launched a pie from C. Cunningham fully 90 metres over deep
cow. A wonderful effort, had it not been to the longest boundary in
Oxfordshire being some 91 metres away. Caught. Arthur didn’t
moan about it once, not that the absent Dennis Waterman would know.
Notice the guy laughing at Arthur’s gross
stupidity in the gully…. On any other occasion,
Mr Mellor’s dismissal the very next ball (also golden) would undoubtedly have
scooped The MAD Moment, however his being stumped after dancing down the
wicket to a wide comes a very close second. A brief transcript after his
return to the dugout: PM:
“It
was a wide! What the f___?” Team:
“Yes,
Paddy – we know, but you can be out to a wide.” PM:
“But
it was a w-w-w-w-i-i-i-i-d-d-d-d-e-e-e-e?” Team:
“……..”
Match coverage provided in conjunction with QZ
Design. A typical MAD collapse
was thankfully stalled by Wolvercote grassing Reeves (22* off 20 balls) first
ball, Turner (30 ret off 45 balls) becoming immovable and Shorten (11 off 11
balls) lifting spirits before gently lowering them into a grave. The required run rate would
soon spiral out of control, with Timms being castled for a duck and Roberts
crashing a four before going walkabout. Bob’s dismissal had the home team
pulling up stumps, before they were gently replaced
after the umpires and scorers suggested one ball remained. Time enough for Mr
Vermaak to occupy five minutes in the gathering gloom by walking out to the
middle, escorting the final delivery on to his stumps and walking back again.
The T20 Shorten Circus
has returned. BRING ON THE CHAOS!!! ++ - Andrew participated in a Lord’s coaching session and
was clocked at 63.1mph (although unverified) * Noms de plumes The
MAD George
Cole (aka Arthur Daley) – Andrew Darley ‘R. E. T. Asterix’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Wolvercote CC Played at St Edwards School (Lower
Pitch 3), 9 May 2018 Far from the MCC won the toss and
elected to field Wolvercote CC won by 20 runs Far from the MCC debuts: none |
18 / 446 20 over match |
|
Team |
Wolvercote CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
T. MacIntyre * |
retired |
35 |
(31) |
6 |
- |
- |
|
2 |
H. Wilman |
c Reeves b Timms |
24 |
(21) |
4 |
- |
1-55 |
|
3 |
P. Walsh |
b Reeves |
15 |
(20) |
2 |
1 |
3-97 |
|
4 |
C. O'Hickey |
b Reeves |
3 |
(10) |
- |
- |
2-82 |
|
5 |
B. Madden |
c and b Darley |
28 |
(18) |
5 |
- |
4-123 |
|
6 |
D. Jacobs † |
Not out |
14 |
(17) |
2 |
- |
- |
|
7 |
C. Potter |
Not out |
3 |
(3) |
- |
- |
- |
|
8 |
P. Rameshwaran |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
W. Shelley |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
M. Wells |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
C. Cunningham |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
W8, LB3, B7 |
18 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 4 wickets, 20 overs) |
140 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
|
1 |
Darley |
4 |
0 |
26 |
1 |
6.50 |
|
|
2 |
Roberts |
3 |
0 |
20 |
0 |
6.67 |
|
|
3 |
Shorten |
3 |
0 |
24 |
0 |
8.00 |
|
|
4 |
Timms |
3 |
0 |
18 |
1 |
6.00 |
|
|
5 |
Reeves |
3 |
0 |
12 |
2 |
4.00 |
|
|
6 |
Vermaak |
2 |
0 |
24 |
0 |
12.00 |
|
|
7 |
Howarth |
2 |
0 |
6 |
0 |
3.00 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note: T. MacIntyre retired at
71-1 (10.0 overs) |
|||||||
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|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Far from the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
I. Howarth |
retired |
30 |
(24) |
3 |
- |
- |
|
2 |
C. T. J. Williams |
c Madden b Rameshwaran |
14 |
(10) |
2 |
- |
1-36 |
|
3 |
R. P. Turner |
retired |
30 |
(45) |
1 |
- |
- |
|
4 |
A. Darley |
c Wilman b
Cunningham |
0 |
(1) |
- |
- |
2-48 |
|
5 |
P. A. S. Mellor |
st Jacobs b Cunningham |
0 |
(1) |
- |
- |
3-48 |
|
6 |
D. Shorten * |
c Cunningham b Wells |
11 |
(11) |
2 |
- |
4-72 |
|
7 |
M. K. Reeves |
not out |
22 |
(20) |
1 |
1 |
- |
|
8 |
G. J. Timms |
b Potter |
0 |
(3) |
- |
- |
5-108 |
|
9 |
C. D. Roberts |
st Jacobs b Walsh |
4 |
(5) |
1 |
- |
6-120 |
|
10 |
C. J. Vermaak |
b Walsh |
0 |
(1) |
- |
- |
7-120 |
|
11 |
G. Carter † |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
NB1, W4, LB1, B3 |
9 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 7 wickets, 20 overs) |
120 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
|
1 |
Rameshwaran |
3 |
0 |
24 |
1 |
8.00 |
|
|
2 |
Shelley |
3 |
0 |
22 |
0 |
7.33 |
|
|
3 |
Wells |
3 |
0 |
14 |
1 |
4.67 |
|
|
4 |
Cunningham |
3 |
1 |
16 |
2 |
5.33 |
|
|
5 |
Potter |
3 |
1 |
11 |
1 |
3.67 |
|
|
6 |
O’Hickey |
2 |
0 |
6 |
0 |
3.00 |
|
|
7 |
Wilman |
1 |
0 |
6 |
0 |
6.00 |
|
|
8 |
MacIntyre |
1 |
0 |
5 |
0 |
5.00 |
|
|
9 |
Walsh |
1 |
0 |
12 |
2 |
12.00 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note: I. Howarth retired at 48-1 (7 overs); R. P. Turner
retired at 108-4 (18 overs) |
|
||||||
|
MOTM: M. K. Reeves Champagne Moment: M. K. Reeves’ catch in
the covers Buffet
Award: C. J. Vermaak’s Cape Malay
curry (with extra turmeric) MAD
Moment: A. Daley holing out on the
longest boundary in MAD history |
Opposition:
V086 / 03 Ground: G078 / 02 Captain: C016 / 32 Match No: 20 / 111 |