“MAD Draw a Blank During Epic Cup Win”
Match: 19
/ 480
Lost
by 10 Wkts
|
Team |
Total |
|
FFTMCC |
97 |
|
R. Turner
18 |
|
|
|
|
|
Greys Green CC |
98 - 0 |
|
Village cricket is dead. Or at least village
cricket will be dead if the current rate of cancelled games and deceased
teams continues unchecked. Games take too long, it’s
all outdated and kids and yoot have other shit do to – like Playstations, TV
and banging needy girlfriends on their mates’ sofa after getting them pissed.
Sunday saw Cholsey unable to field a team for the Friendly Cup and so the
Cricket Lottery was activated in the hope of salvaging some sort of sporting
pursuit. All hail the power of the internet, Giant Duck
and thefixturelist-dot-org.
Greys Green. Giant Duck isn’t a living entity you understand, merely a stuffed
mallard that is associated with dog piss and most of all the MAD team photos.
He’s been around for several years since being
procured from a charity shop in Truro by Howarth. He’s
also associated with an email address that is appropriated to MAD fixtures
and henceforth a “name” in cricketing circles. He’s
instantly recognisable, he’s on every fixture dudes email list, and to be
anybody in village cricketing circles, you need to know Giant Duck. Mohammed Shafqat, or Mo
as per the hypocorism, was well acquainted with Mr Duck from Wolvercote days
and when his new muse Greys Green fell foul of the
current cricketing plague, he dialled him up and shit and got sorted. Thus,
it was, having already won through to the next round of The Cup, The MAD
decamped near Henley-on-Thames for rivalry anew. A chance to win two games in
one weekend playing only one game.
Hotson (scoring) receives maths tuition by
someone far brighter than him. Greys Green is a quite
charming location, cut amongst some trees and flanked by the dwellings of
aristocracy, an adjoining B-road is the only minor blemish having a constant
trickle of Hooray Henrys cruising up and down in antique automobiles. The
location is a world away from the scrub of dog turd which is Cowley Marshes
and its graffiti daubed brick walls. The club itself has been
in existence since 1873, whereby the Henley Standard detailed a match there
between a Mr Saunders’ XI and some combined ensemble from Wyfold and Stoke
Row. The return would have Saunders rebrand as Greys Green CC, though
merchandising and ticket sales are unknown. Fast forward to the
twenty-first century and the visit of a pub team with barely twenty years of
history but boasting two books in the Bodleian library. A team not unadvised
to the regulations of timed cricket, but largely ignorant of ever learning
how to adapt to it. Here, on a lovely day, they were put into bat with the
requirement of batting until the tea interval, or to give it some
measurement, about two and half hours. This they didn’t
do, but came quite close, but did bat 35 overs which is what they normally
Shorten (batting) applying himself to not knowing
what he is doing. Turner (18) and Shorten
(9) made a commendable effort in concentration at the crease, navigating past
the half hour mark. Cartwright (3) and Howarth (14) didn’t,
the former running himself out in ridiculous fashion and the latter thinking
it was a T20 and caught on the slog sweep. Reeves (15) batted the longest,
but that was because he was stood at the other end watching a succession of
partners walk all the way out, not do a lot and then walk all the way back to
the pavilion (Webster 3, Timms 3, Hoskins 4, Hotson 3 and Rundle 5). This all
left John Newman-Robson selfishly unbeaten on 13 not out and the team very
all out on 97. Wickets were shared amongst the Greys Green bowlers who all
acquitted themselves to a length.
Webster (batting) readies himself to do nothing
as Midge looks at some crap dog biscuits. Tea was a splendid and
generous affair with the ladies of Greys Green doing themselves no harm at
all in the popularity stakes. It was just a shame Team MAD didn’t
have anything positive to moan about regarding their batting. On resumption, Grey’s
opening bowlers (Shafqat 26* and Ahmed 68*) had an hour or so of blocking and
nurdling before the final portion of the day commenced. At a time embossed is local bylaws, The MAD were now expected
to throw down a further twenty overs – or something like that as the sun
slowly sank behind the pavilion. Messrs Newman (7-1-16-0) and Rundle
(6-2-10-0) were tidy if unthreatening, with the latter thanking Hotson for his
continued dry spell after a bungle behind. Hoskins (4-0-24-0) also extended
his own personal dry spell, receiving a standing ovation having eclipsed the
previous MAD record for overs without a wicket (previously 35.3 by an unnamed
chap mentioned earlier in this pithy satire – who opened the bowling with
Newman).
Mike (right) to James: “You trying batting, yeah?
Good idea – you’re shit at bowling.” Days (or was it weeks?) had passed by before Webster (3.4-0-27-0) was
finally introduced into the attack to try and bring an end to the game. This
he achieved with no little aplomb, sending down a succession of head high
beamers and no balls to get the home team home by ten wickets. An odd game, a very
curious game with much undefined, but a good game nonetheless, which is far
more appealing to no game which is what was on the table after Cholsey pulled
out of the Cup. In summary, two games in one day, a win and a loss and no
wickets taken. ‘Slogger Ignoramus’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Greys Green
CC Played at Greys Green, 19 May 2019 Greys Green CC won the toss and
elected to field Greys Green CC won by 10 wkts Far from the MCC debuts: none |
19 / 480 Timed match |
|
Team |
Far from the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
R. P. Turner |
c Ahmed b Shafqat |
18 |
(36) |
2 |
- |
2-27 |
|
2 |
D. Shorten |
c Shah b Ahmed |
9 |
(35) |
- |
- |
1-23 |
|
3 |
J. A. Cartwright |
run out (Cross) |
3 |
(15) |
- |
- |
3-38 |
|
4 |
I. Howarth |
c J. Holroyd b Skilleter |
14 |
(16) |
3 |
- |
4-44 |
|
5 |
J. vdG. Webster |
lbw b Skilleter |
3 |
(23) |
- |
- |
5-54 |
|
6 |
M. K. Reeves |
b Sullivan |
15 |
(27) |
3 |
- |
8-76 |
|
7 |
G. J. Timms * |
b Shah |
3 |
(5) |
- |
- |
6-57 |
|
8 |
J. D. Hoskins |
c Skilleter
b Sullivan |
4 |
(18) |
1 |
- |
7-71 |
|
9 |
J. Newman-Robson |
not out |
13 |
(16) |
2 |
- |
- |
|
10 |
J. C. W. Hotson † |
b Cross |
3 |
(11) |
- |
- |
9-85 |
|
11 |
M. S. Rundle |
b J. Holroyd |
5 |
(12) |
1 |
- |
10-97 |
|
|
Extras |
W5, B2 |
7 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(all out, 35.4 overs) |
97 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
|
1 |
Ahmed |
7 |
1 |
18 |
1 |
2.57 |
|
|
2 |
Shafqat |
11 |
3 |
13 |
1 |
1.18 |
|
|
3 |
Skilleter |
6 |
0 |
23 |
2 |
3.83 |
|
|
4 |
Shah |
5 |
0 |
16 |
1 |
3.20 |
|
|
5 |
Sullivan |
3 |
1 |
5 |
2 |
1.67 |
|
|
6 |
Cross |
2 |
0 |
11 |
1 |
5.50 |
|
|
7 |
J. Holroyd |
1.4 |
0 |
9 |
1 |
5.40 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Greys Green CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
M. Shafqat |
not out |
26 |
|
2 |
- |
- |
|
2 |
B. Ahmed |
not out |
68 |
|
11 |
- |
- |
|
3 |
M. Sullivan |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
4 |
N. Holroyd |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
5 |
M. Lambert † |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
6 |
M. Skilleter
* |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
7 |
P. Shah |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
J. Holroyd |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
P. Dawkins |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
T. Cross |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
P. Hoggart |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
NB1, W1, LB2 |
4 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 0 wickets, 27.4 overs) |
98 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
|
1 |
Newman-Robson |
7 |
1 |
16 |
0 |
2.29 |
|
|
2 |
Rundle |
6 |
2 |
10 |
0 |
1.67 |
|
|
3 |
Hoskins |
4 |
0 |
24 |
0 |
6.00 |
|
|
4 |
Reeves |
4 |
1 |
8 |
0 |
2.00 |
|
|
5 |
Webster |
3.4 |
0 |
27 |
0 |
7.36 |
|
|
6 |
Timms |
3 |
1 |
11 |
0 |
3.67 |
|
|
MOTM: M. S. Rundle Champagne Moment: J. D. Hoskins’ routine
boundary Buffet
Award: J. vdG. Webster’s Pannekoeken (sweet and savoury dish) MAD
Moment: G. J. Timms and J. Newman-Robson’s
sliding combo in the covers |
Opposition:
V109 / 01 Ground: G101 / 01 Captain: C022 / 80 Match No: TM / 015 |