“Preposterous Rambles of Fictional
Embezzlement
And Tales of a Fugitive Lifestyle
(Part I)”
Match: 20
/ 524
Lost
by 26 runs
|
Team |
Total |
|
Mandarins |
152 - 5 |
|
M. Reeves 4 - 16 |
|
|
|
|
|
FFTMCC |
126 - 9 |
|
R. Hadfield 35 |
|
|
It had been a turbulent few days, with the HMRC called in to look over
FFTMCC finances following revelations of fraudulent activity. A ransom
payment to a troll website company had bounced and Beancounter Reeves
discovered mysterious outgoings to Barnard Castle had left a gaping back hole
in MAD finances. Then, before we knew it, Skipper Timms had disappeared and
fled to the lochs of Scotland to lie low. All very worrying.
On the run…. After poring over the
ambiguous and falsified finances of Club MAD and following numerous
conversations, it transpired these civil servants had a cricket team of their
own. It therefore seemed a natural progression to maybe play a game against
these number crunchers and gain a better understanding and familiarity. A
date was set in the calendar for September 4th, with the good folk of
Appleton agreeing to hire out their ground for such an esteemed occasion.
The hire of the ground comes with a free groundsman
(Roger on right) – handy for shifting covers. Assembling at the pub
for a traditional pre-game pint, it was reassuring to note the average age of
the Mandarins being akin to that of The MAD (i.e 40 somethings rising to the
age of Geoff). The civil servants would talk of injuries,
but had nothing to compare with the hosts’ bandaged Williams and
cortisone injected Howarth who were pushed into service…. With autumn drawing in
and light at a premium, the match was to start earlier and to consist of ten
consecutive overs from either end with no extra deliveries for wides and no
balls (to count as two extras). Winning the toss (naturally), Captain Turner
had little hesitation in grabbing the pink ball to test the underbelly of this
orange tinged opposition. The resultant MAD bowling was decent on the whole,
with everyone who didn’t bowl to a promoted middle order (consisting of 8, 9,
10 and Jack) sticking to their line and length. Mike Reeves (4-0-16-1) also had
a spell with the ball and did bowl at the aforementioned cast of
Bright Eyes.
Pearson faces the wiles of Kulkarni. A decent Mandarin total
of 152-5 was indebted to the opening efforts of Tunbridge (52 ret) and one Mr
C. Healey who came in at number nine. This latter, short bespectacled fellow
of advancing years, encouraged The MAD to encircle the bat and anticipate
Annie and Fannie Cottontail thereafter. However, that particular outcome didn’t
quite materialise, as a sumptuous 29 not out off 13 balls would ably
demonstrate. The ball fizzing off his bat into open spaces, as one would
expect from a gentleman to have mixed it in the higher echelons of Middlesex
league cricket. A quick turnaround saw
Mr Hadfield (35) anchor The MAD reply, looking every inch the civil servant
himself, all bustling with his reading glasses, administering unheeded advice
as wickets tumbled at the other end. Pearson (13) was okay, Anderson (12)
clubbed a few and Howarth (13) did amazingly well to drill a ball unerringly
to a distant Tunbridge at cow. 126-9 was never enough, largely because it was
26 runs less than what the Mandarins achieved, but in a bleak sequence of
funereal MAD totals, at least it was total in excess of a ton. Pub.
Civil Servant Hadfield administering a glorious
cut. The tourists would prove
as sociable off the pitch as maybe they weren’t quite as such on it, but
therein lies the secret of success and winning a game of cricket (MAD take
note). Debutant Alex Jeffreys also did himself no harm, the Appleton ringer
not once mentioning his demise in a laughable Rundle run out, nor the tale of
his seven over diamond duck, a record for his home team and surely every
other village team dotted around the globe. We wish Her Majesty’s
lads all the best, they would be more than welcome to pay us another visit at
a time unknown, perhaps even getting their admin correct and having the full
eleven turn up in whites.
‘Corti Sone’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Mandarins Played at Appleton, 4 September 2020 Far from the MCC won the toss and
elected to field Mandarins won by 26 runs Far from the MCC debuts: Alex
James Jeffreys (159) |
20 / 524 20 over match |
|
Team |
Mandarins |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
T. Baxter |
lbw b Howarth |
2 |
|
- |
- |
1-16 |
|
2 |
G. Tunbridge |
retired |
52 |
|
6 |
- |
- |
|
3 |
A. Somerville |
c Rundle b Reeves |
7 |
|
- |
- |
2-51 |
|
4 |
D. Williams † |
b Reeves |
6 |
|
- |
- |
3-79 |
|
5 |
T. Hawkhead |
b Reeves |
5 |
|
1 |
- |
4-84 |
|
6 |
J. Hawkins |
b Reeves |
0 |
|
- |
- |
5-89 |
|
7 |
J. Porter |
not out |
10 |
|
1 |
- |
- |
|
8 |
C. Healey |
not out |
29 |
|
5 |
- |
- |
|
9 |
N. Kulkarni |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
D. Forman * |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
A. Heard |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
NB2, W21, LB12, B6 |
41 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 5 wickets, 20 overs) |
152 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
|
1 |
Howarth |
4 |
0 |
23 |
1 |
5.75 |
|
|
2 |
Jeffreys |
4 |
0 |
26 |
0 |
6.50 |
|
|
3 |
Rundle |
4 |
0 |
29 |
0 |
7.25 |
|
|
4 |
Reeves |
4 |
0 |
16 |
4 |
4.00 |
|
|
5 |
Anderson |
2 |
0 |
23 |
0 |
11.50 |
|
|
6 |
Pearson |
2 |
0 |
25 |
0 |
12.50 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Far from the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
J. W. Pearson |
b Healey |
13 |
(18) |
3 |
- |
1-29 |
|
2 |
R. J. T. Hadfield |
st Williams b Forman |
35 |
(44) |
3 |
- |
6-102 |
|
3 |
J. C. W. Hotson |
b Kulkarni |
2 |
(5) |
- |
- |
2-32 |
|
4 |
C. T. J. Williams |
c Forman b Porter |
8 |
(8) |
1 |
- |
3-52 |
|
5 |
R. P. Turner * |
st Williams b Forman |
5 |
(8) |
- |
- |
4-71 |
|
6 |
M. W. Anderson |
b Forman |
12 |
(10) |
1 |
- |
5-89 |
|
7 |
I. Howarth |
c Tunbridge b Forman |
13 |
(15) |
2 |
- |
7-121 |
|
8 |
M. K. Reeves |
b Healey |
2 |
(7) |
- |
- |
8-125 |
|
9 |
A. J. Jeffreys |
run out |
4 |
(1) |
1 |
- |
9-125 |
|
10 |
M. S. Rundle |
not out |
1 |
(3) |
- |
- |
- |
|
11 |
G. Carter † |
not out |
0 |
(1) |
- |
- |
- |
|
|
Extras |
NB12, W19 |
31 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 9 wickets, 20 overs) |
126 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
|
1 |
Kulkarni |
4 |
1 |
19 |
1 |
4.75 |
|
|
2 |
Healey |
4 |
0 |
20 |
2 |
5.00 |
|
|
3 |
Porter |
4 |
0 |
20 |
1 |
5.00 |
|
|
4 |
Baxter |
2 |
0 |
18 |
0 |
9.00 |
|
|
5 |
Forman |
4 |
0 |
29 |
4 |
7.25 |
|
|
6 |
Somerville |
1 |
0 |
9 |
0 |
9.00 |
|
|
7 |
Tunbridge |
1 |
0 |
11 |
0 |
11.00 |
|
|
MOTM: M. K. Reeves Champagne Moment: A. J. Jeffreys’ first
ball tonk for four Buffet
Award: M. W. Anderson’s Real Meal
ration packs MAD
Moment: J. C. W. Hotson’s self-drop
after throwing the ball to himself |
Opposition:
V114 / 01 Ground: G042 / 20 Captain: C024 / 40 Match No: 20 / 147 |