Match: 21
/ 547
Lost
by 20 runs
Team |
Total |
Denton CC |
111 - 7 |
J. Bateman
2 - 17, J. Hoskins 2 - 18 |
|
|
|
FFTMCC |
91 - 7 |
R. Turner 16,
J. Bateman 16* |
|
Twelve months later than
advertised the drips and drabs of the FFTMCC touring party trickled into
Brighton. That’s not extreme tardiness; just Covid causing a year long delay.
Chairman Bullock was first to arrive and promptly began knocking down the
door of the Basketmakers Arms. As he was finishing
(what we assume wasn’t his) first pint the two tour youngsters, Bateman and
Timms, arrived with their chaperone, Rundle. It was still before midday.
WhatsApp location tracking told those four that the next three cars would be
arriving close together in an hour or so. In the meantime, Matt’s sister
Georgia and her friend Vicky made a grave judgement error in joining us for
the next few hours drinking. Time for a few more Sunquakes on the sun-baked
table the Chairman had procured. Darley (with Geoff and
Jake) pipped Mike (with Lego and Salad) for third place whilst a steady
stream of swear words from Spam’s fingers described the car park situation on
the aforementioned messaging service. Apparently,
others are available. Right, Jake? Just to say; what a pleasure it was to see
Salad’s rosy cheeks for the first time in quite some time. After car five
(Russ, Spam, and JMO) waited the best part of half an hour for a parking spot
the tour party was (nearly) finally complete – Tall Bob would be arriving on
Friday. At this point, with Spam having threatened to withdraw from tour if
forced to take a Covid test, all other tour members duly presented a negative
lateral flow test. Spam was then sent home after a quick vote on whether he
was a melodramatic idiot or not. Ah, we can but dream…. The multi-story car park. Never to be forgotten. With everyone present
there was only one thing to be done; find out whose day would be ruined by
having to play cricket. Timms would escort Spam back to the car park to
locate The MAD Top Trumps whilst the rest of the team explained the selection
process to a suitably disinterested Georgia and Vicky. Dreams were dashed
after cards were drawn randomly by Georgia and coins were tossed by players.
Darley and Geoff looked rather smug. The selected 11 thus decided the only
thing to do was head on to another pub – The White Rabbit. After sneaking off
to the bookies (more on that to come) JMO would cram into the courtyard with
the rest of us just in time to watch an overly aggressive seagull smash a
glass. JMO would then present everyone with their Day 1 ‘Tour Prediction
Game’ sheets. You could see the excitement on the teams’ faces, even if no
one had Wood. Questions included how many runs would The MAD score on tour?
How many times would Spam throw up? How many MAD players would be forced off
through injury (much more on that later)? How much would JMO win the club on
tour? There were also ‘in day’ questions. Top work, fella! With most a good 4 or 5
pints in it seemed wise to go and check into the hotel. The full impact of
only one lift working wouldn’t be truly appreciated by everyone at this
point. Although Matt, with his room in the attic, knew what the next 3 and a bit days held in store. The MAD ranks assembled outside
the Premier Inn where the amiable (today at least) Nicholas pulled up in his
air-conditioned minibus. Bags were thrown in the back before players were
scanned onto the bus. Given the amount of
corrections I’m being told to make to this report I can only assume Bill
gates is now watching my every move. After avoiding the traffic on one road
by joining the traffic on another The MAD finally pulled up at our hosts
Denton CC. They had coloured kit, not whites. Balls! They had a bar. Phew. Having demonstrated his
tossing prowess in winning the right to be captain for the evening Salad
inevitably lost the toss for the game itself. Unsurprisingly, The MAD were
asked to take to the field. Early boundaries were punctuated by early wickets
from the ever-wily Hoskins (4-0-18-2). Howarth (4-0-14-0) bowled well without
reward and Rundle bowled (4-0-32-0). Reeves (4-0-30-1) took a bit of tap from
Lee Poulton (32*) and D. Eagle (22) before snagging M. Sharpe near the end of
his spell. At the other end tour virgin J. Bateman (4-0-15-2) threw his hat
in the ring for the James of the Match award. He’d also match James H’s
direct run out exploits with a bullseye from the boundary rope. Two wickets
(all bowled) and a direct run out apiece thus far. Denton couldn’t quite get
a tune out of youngster F Sharpe and would end their 20 overs on 111. A
gettable target – if you haven’t had 7 pints. Timms pulling impressively to leg on his way to …
oh Regular MAD skippers
Turner and Timms would open the batting. Four off the first over from decent
pace bowler J. Jones (4-0-10-1) was solid enough. The 2nd over of the innings
would be a maiden, with all 6 balls thrown down just close enough to the leg
stump to not be called wides individually. As a whole…meh. Frustrated by this
Timms (0) would bag the first duck of tour after skying one off Jones despite
the keepers’ best efforts to drop it. Shorten (3) would also be caught –
although in much more spectacular style. Smiting one away to square leg David
smirked and began admiring his work… Six? Definitely four.
Maybe six? Nope, a sublime low down catch out on the
boundary by a young lady with a potentially big future in the sport –
remember the name Katie Eagle. Denton mixed their
bowling up as Turner and Bullock struggled to find the gaps. K. Eagle
(2-0-5-0) showed she could bowl as well as catch. F. Sharpe (2-0-8-1), Liam
Poulton (2-0-3-0), and proud dad D. Eagle (1-0-2-1) hardly bled runs. Bullock
(13) and Reeves (11) finished their innings with boundaries as The MAD tried
to accelerate. At 54-4 with 5 overs to go, 111 looked a lot further away than
it had at half time. Jake (5) nurdled a few before Hoskins sacrificed Rundle
(1) off the latter’s first and only ball. Good strike rate, dude. At this
juncture James B joined James H to resume their own personal battle. A single
here, a single there. Advantage Hoskins (9*); four! James H swings to cow. With FFTMCC needing an
improbable 38 to win off the last over you’d have forgiven either
bat for protecting their average. Instead, the last 3 balls of the
innings were the first six of tour, a four, and a three – all to James B
(16*) who, in the process, secured champagne moment for said six (over
covers) along with the James (and Man) of the Match award. The MAD ended up
20 runs shy on 91. Psycho had claimed buffet and his M Westmoreland-esque delivery on to his own toe saw The MAD Moment
bestowed upon him too. If MAD Moment was voted for at the end of the day
however…. Action from the industrial site end. Attention turned once
again to who would be in the team for Friday. Friday: probably the prized day
off given everyone has a good 6+ hours to get pissed
before playing. With coins being tossed further and further away Hotson
identified a slanting roof to launch his on to. Timms caught sight of it and
followed it with a laser focus. Such focus that he failed to see the bag by
his feet that sent him ass over tit whilst soaking him in beer. He did not
drop his bottle it must be said. Once everyone, oppo included, had stopped pissing themselves with laughter The MAD figured it best
to tidy up and get back on the bus to Brighton in time for, yeah, a beer. All
aboard. Let’s go! Not before some lady ran towards the bus saying, “You’ve
left a bag behind... No, you’ve left a player behind!!!” If you’ve toured
before, you’ll know it was Jake. The MAD finished the
night in hope and ruin. Also, the tour party visited The Hope and Ruin. A bar
with a live DJ and people dancing. How liberating it was to go to the actual
bar to order the drinks whilst surveying a room full of people just having a fuck ton of fun. Smiles could not be shaken. Other than
when Russ thrusted his pelvis/arse out to Robbie
Williams’ Rock DJ. Timms would also be told by a group of lesbians that
Brighton is the gay capital of the UK. Do they not know he’s
our quizmaster? A huge thank you to
Denton CC for a lovely evening played out in great spirit. May your season go
well and, should we ever be back this way, we’ll hopefully see you again. ‘F. Aller’
|
*
Far from the MCC versus Denton CC Played at Avis Road, Denton, 29 July
2021 Denton CC won the toss and elected to
bat Denton CC won by 20 runs Far from the MCC debuts: n/a |
21 / 547 20 over match |
Team |
Denton CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
1 |
S. Jeff |
b Hoskins |
12 |
|
1 |
1 |
1-14 |
2 |
A. Taylor |
b Hoskins |
5 |
|
- |
- |
2-26 |
3 |
Liam Poulton |
b Bateman |
26 |
|
2 |
- |
4-91 |
4 |
Lee Poulton * |
retired |
32 |
|
4 |
1 |
- |
5 |
D. Martin |
b Bateman |
0 |
|
- |
- |
3-77 |
6 |
D. Eagle |
run out (Hoskins) |
22 |
|
4 |
- |
7-110 |
7 |
C. Balleste |
run out (Bateman) |
4 |
|
- |
- |
5-102 |
8 |
M. Sharpe † |
b Reeves |
0 |
|
- |
- |
6-107 |
9 |
F. Sharpe |
not out |
2 |
|
- |
- |
- |
10 |
K. Eagle |
not out |
1 |
|
- |
- |
- |
11 |
J. Jones |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
W7 |
7 |
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 7 wickets, 20 overs) |
111 |
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
1 |
Howarth |
4 |
0 |
14 |
0 |
3.50 |
|
2 |
Hoskins |
4 |
0 |
18 |
2 |
4.50 |
|
3 |
Rundle |
4 |
0 |
32 |
0 |
8.00 |
|
4 |
Bateman |
4 |
0 |
17 |
2 |
4.25 |
|
5 |
Reeves |
4 |
0 |
30 |
1 |
7.50 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Far from the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
1 |
R. P. Turner |
b D. Eagle |
16 |
(29) |
1 |
- |
3-25 |
2 |
G. J. Timms |
c Sharpe b Jones |
0 |
(9) |
- |
- |
1-5 |
3 |
D. Shorten |
c K. Eagle b Sharpe |
3 |
(6) |
- |
- |
2-13 |
4 |
M. Bullock |
b Taylor |
13 |
(30) |
1 |
- |
5-55 |
5 |
M. K. Reeves |
c Jones b Lee Poulton |
11 |
(16) |
2 |
- |
4-53 |
6 |
J. C. W. Hotson |
lbw b Martin |
5 |
(10) |
- |
- |
6-68 |
7 |
J. D. Hoskins |
not out |
9 |
(11) |
1 |
- |
- |
8 |
M. S. Rundle |
run out (Jones) |
1 |
(1) |
- |
- |
7-69 |
9 |
J. C. Bateman |
not out |
16 |
(9) |
1 |
1 |
- |
10 |
I. Howarth |
|
|
|
|
|
- |
11 |
J. Newman-Robson *† |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
NB1, W10, LB3, B3 |
17 |
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 7 wickets, 20 overs) |
91 |
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
1 |
Jones |
4 |
0 |
10 |
1 |
2.50 |
|
2 |
Martin |
4 |
1 |
23 |
1 |
5.75 |
|
3 |
Sharpe |
2 |
0 |
8 |
1 |
4.00 |
|
4 |
Liam Poulton |
2 |
0 |
3 |
0 |
1.50 |
|
5 |
K. Eagle |
2 |
0 |
5 |
0 |
2.50 |
|
6 |
D. Eagle |
1 |
0 |
2 |
1 |
2.00 |
|
7 |
Jeff |
2 |
0 |
14 |
0 |
7.00 |
|
8 |
Balleste |
1 |
0 |
7 |
0 |
7.00 |
|
9 |
Lee Poulton |
1 |
0 |
1 |
1 |
1.00 |
|
10 |
Taylor |
1 |
0 |
5 |
1 |
5.00 |
|
MOTM: J. C. Bateman Champagne Moment: J. C. Bateman’s six
over extra cover Buffet Award: M. S. Rundle’s cheap seaside candyfloss MAD
Moment: M. S. Rundle’s dead ball after
bowling hand strikes testicle and ball is dropped behind him on run up |
Opposition:
V121 / 01 Ground: G108 / 01 Captain: C029 / 03 Match No: 20 / 156 |