“Old Faces Grown Older”

Match: 21 / 532

Lost by 12 runs

Team	Total
Wootton & Bladon CC	132
C. Vermaak 3 - 38, M. Rundle 2 - 24
FFTMCC	120 - 8
M. Reeves 29, R. Turner 27

It is close two decades that the Far from the Madding Crowd Far from the MCC have been contesting village cricket against Wootton & Bladon East Wootton West Wootton or are they back to be known as Wootton & Bladon CC? Let’s just say matches between the two sides have lost that combative edge and spit over the years, the players have gotten marginally older and games are now more pantomime than pugilism. Ahh, the days of yore, one remembers Steve Dobner shadow boxing on the boundary hurling expletives as Doc Mander drew a line between a warring Steve Poole and Ian Howarth, threatening to curtail the game back in ’03 and uproot the stumps… how times have changed (thank, god).

Poole spots Howarth with a camera so many years ago. A blossoming relationship if there ever was.

One of the beauties of Sunday or friendly cricket, or however you term it (please don’t ask a League cricketer), is that if organised properly, you can age together (un)gracefully and become crap as one. You get to still come away from a game thinking you’ve still got “it”, that you are something, and not some greying has-beens getting flattened by some pumped-up youths who drop the odd punchline as you go out to field “wow, they’re quite old, aren’t they?” Nope, you all look as youthful and as beautiful as you always have, the ageing process invisible, and you’re keen to remind each other (please delete Poole Snr and Howarth from that last statement).

This particular glandular and paunchy opposition have their own keen statistician in Scottish Bill, not be confused with a ginger-haired copper or someone who gets his facts wrong, although our own dedicated statistician may have an argument or ten about the below correspondence from Hambridge Jnr….

After the dispiriting defeat the previous week, only compounded by the totally inappropriate, and ill-conceived match report to follow, Geoff Carter was axed and served a one game ban. That Howarth was diligent enough to find some digital Tippex and correct the profanity-riddled rant saved him from a similar fate (unfortunately). So, changes on the bench this one with Vermaak, Darley and Webster replacing the aforementioned Carter, Bullock and Harris. Timms would play a 10-1 formation after winning the toss (I know, whatever next), with Hotson (the 1) minding the stumps.

Hambridge Jnr is amused by Poole’s jokes about Howarth.

The pitch had suffered heavy rainfall with invisible covers catching the most, so scoring would be at a premium, unless you were called Nick Hambridge (or Jnr). When he fell with the score on 94 in the 22nd over, he had volunteered 67 runs out of that figure, so as Bill would confirm, that is 71.2766% of the total thus far. Bowling was good on the whole, Reeves (5-0-8-1) economically reassuring in a spazzy left-armers way, Darley (7-1-23-0) very unlucky (as is his want), and Rundle (5-0-24-2) repairing a first over with that mechanical rhythm that barely misses a bleep.

A generational partnership by Poole Snr (21) and Poole Jr (13) threatened to put Wootton in the ascendancy, and if the ambling shuffling between the wickets had been any quicker, or blessed with any modicum of urgency, they probably could have trebled their scores. As it was, Timms (7-2-25-2) snared a few more rabbits (as is his want), Pearson (4-1-10-0) bowled a regimented and military line and Mr Vermaak (5.4-0-38-3) pulled his figures around nicely with some excellent bowling at the death. The home side posting 132 all out off not quite 34 overs. Time for a baked portion of a bar, cooked in a flat oven tin, cut into squares (yes, flapjacks), and delicately served in a colourful tin box adorned with a legendary cartoon character and his pisshead sailor mate.

Heavyweight action as Keeper Doggett stumbles over the apple.

Wootton have mellowed and morphed into a family unit over the years, with the budding stars of the future, be it on or off the field, clambering out of prams and being entertained by mums and a nearby kid’s park. They exude a warmth and togetherness that should be applauded. Their candour and banter isn’t to everyone’s liking, then neither is ours, so this would be the cricketing equivalent of a shoddy, gaudy marriage made in a piss-taking heaven. And long may it last.

In reply, Pearson (5) and Williams (6) failed to live up to expectations, marquee signings commanding preposterous salaries, but that is today’s world we live in. Turner (27) was durable, rugged, immovable and stoic, whilst Webster (9) was expansive and flighty in his unrevelatory start to the season. Poole Snr welcomed Howarth (0) warmly to the crease and in kind, after Ian had spoken so kindly of Steve’s busy oven over the winter months. Plumb lbw (thank you, James, for at least ignoring the first appeal) leaving The MAD tottering on 56-5.

Pearson cracks one… probably to a fielder.

At this tipping point in the game, MAD spirits were lifted by the animation and PMA of a non-playing Mr Hoskins, cheerleading from the boundary as Timms (25) and Reeves (29) renewed hopes with a half-ton partnership. Mike doing what Mike does best, you know, some French cricket interspersed with some hoiks to leg and Timms cashing in on a vein of form with that carefree style of his (and again, long may it last).

Overs were of course the enemy, with Darley (2) sacrificing his wicket and Hotson (4*) and Rundle (1*) protecting theirs. 120-8 and no more lobs of any toffee apples to come. Defeat, but the margin of victory ever closer. However, no game between “The Fat Lads” and “The Pub Idiots” is ever a game without controversy, of course! There was Pastygate (Mr Valentine apparently bowling the death over having already bowled out), there was Charvisgate (Steve only appeared for his 7 nagging overs after being sat on his arse pitchside) and there was Hambridge-MacDonaghgate (their master blaster subbed at half-time for their regular opening bowler). Brilliant undiscussed, underhand tactics and once again, you applaud them.

The Mike and Gary show… too short by far.

As players gathered their thoughts, randomly thrown apparel and any spare flapjacks in the vicinity, the menacing grey clouds became rain. In fact, they had promised all day but had never done so, now they did, it really pissed down, sadly halving the available bums that could sit outside in the Red Lion beer garden (May 17th cannot come soon enough, when the UK populace can return from a maddening pandemic and once again get smashed indoors and enjoy an Indian Covid summer).

As a footnote to this ramble: one thing still puzzled me about the day… what was Bill’s headline text about a NEW WBCC RECORD being set? What was this record? I was intrigued, just as Chairman Bullock would be, or Mr Timms for that matter (if either had seen the text). The answer would pop through from Jnr later that evening, having achieved the feat of….

Well done, Nick and congratulations to the Wootton Boys. 1-0 to them in a must see, three-part cricketing extravaganza playing out in Oxfordshire this summer. Tune in in the month of July for the next riveting instalment.

‘Long I. T. Tooth’

*

Statto Scorecards

Far from the MCC versus Wootton & Bladon CC Played at Cassington, 9 May 2021 Far from the MCC won the toss and elected to field Wootton & Bladon CC won by 12 runs Far from the MCC debuts: n/a

21 / 532 35 over match

Team	Wootton & Bladon CC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	A. Collett	b Reeves	3		-	-	1-7
2	A, Hambridge	b Rundle	4		-	-	2-49
3	N. Hambridge	b Vermaak	67		9	1	6-94
4	G. Doggett †	run out (Pearson/Rundle)	0		-	-	3-51
5	T. Valentine	run out (Timms/Hotson)	0		-	-	4-51
6	M. Ryan	c Timms b Rundle	2		-	-	5-61
7	S. Poole	c Turner b Vermaak	21		1	-	9-128
8	T. Poole	c Williams b Timms	13		1	-	7-115
9	C. Wood	c Pearson b Timms	1		-	-	8-121
10	D. De Bono	b Vermaak	4		-	-	10-132
11	J. Barber	not out	0		-	-	-
	Extras	NB2, LB9, B6	17
	TOTAL	(all out, 33.4 overs)	132

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts	Econ
1	Reeves	5	0	8	1	1.60
2	Darley	7	1	23	0	3.29
3	Rundle	5	0	24	2	4.80
4	Vermaak	5.4	0	38	3	6.71
5	Timms	7	2	25	2	3.57
6	Pearson	4	1	10	0	2.50
Note: S. Edwards and J. MacDonough replaced A. Hambridge and N. Hambridge at the interval

Team	Far from the MCC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	J. W. Pearson	run out (Barber)	5	(28)	-	-	2-23
2	C. T. J. Williams	c De Bono b Barber	6	(6)	1	-	1-9
3	R. P. Turner	c Ryan b Valentine	27	(52)	3	-	5-56
4	J. vdG. Webster	b Valentine	9	(32)	1	-	3-50
5	I. Howarth	lbw b Valentine	0	(8)	-	-	4-51
6	G. J. Timms *	lbw b Wood	25	(38)	3	-	6-106
7	M. K. Reeves	b Valentine	29	(36)	3	-	8-117
8	A. Darley	b Ryan	2	(3)	-	-	7-111
9	J. C. W. Hotson †	not out	4	(6)	-	-	-
10	M. S. Rundle	not out	1	(1)	-	-	-
11	C. J. Vermaak
	Extras	W6, LB1, B5	12
	TOTAL	(for 8 wickets, 35 overs)	120

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts	Econ
1	Edwards	7	3	9	0	1.29
2	Barber	5	0	20	1	4.00
3	Valentine	8	2	23	4	2.88
4	MacDonough	7	1	16	0	2.29
5	Ryan	5	0	33	1	6.60
6	Wood	3	0	14	0	4.67
7	Edwards	7	3	9	0	1.29

MOTM: M. K. Reeves Champagne Moment: C. J. Vermaak’s bowling of Nick Hambridge Buffet Award: C. J. Vermaak’s overcooked Bobotie MAD Moment: C. T. J. Williams’ diving over a stationary ball

Opposition: V027 / 32 Ground: G67 / 06 Captain: C022 / 103 Match No: 35 / 195