“Jules Serenades Celebratory Astons Victory”
Match: 22
/ 583
Won
by 27 runs
|
Team |
Total |
|
FFTMCC |
206 - 9 |
|
I. Howarth 33, A. Darley
32 |
|
|
|
|
|
Astons CC |
179 |
|
D. Shorten 4 - 7 |
|
|
The end of the season is
nigh, players are looking forward to holidays abroad, burning festivals to
the ground and not playing any cricket or writing match reports. To be
honest, most of the club’s batters haven’t done fuck all for several weeks
now, leaving it to the guy who buggered off to Australia and the one with the
messy black hair who opened up with him. That they have, breaking several
records in the process and ensuring the rest of the batting order have been
left scratching their bollocks and yawning their heads off most of the
afternoon. Today would be different
of course, for the simple reason the guy who buggered off to Australia has,
well… buggered off and the messy black haired one didn’t score a ton plus.
Also, that guy who murdered his nanny wasn’t playing this game either, because
he’s scored a good few runs this year also.
“Look into my eyes, Colin. I know you won the
toss, but….” To the game… and Russ would
make a bollock of the coin toss, but ultimately get his way by instructing
Colin Allen to bowl first by way of mind over matter. He also asked Howarth
to dust his pads off and try to remember how to bat, which he did after realising
wood was preferable to using his pads. A rollicking 50 came up after the first
ball of the sixth over, with Williams (30) the first to go by stupidly opting
to play a forward defensive [idiot]. Ian (33) and Bob then dragged on to
leave the innings on 72-3 as Steve Smith (4-40) tried to fathom how he had
suddenly become unplayable on a totally playable wicket.
Shorten doing what Shorten does. Tonk things. This was a MAD team of
many layers and great depth however, and fortunately these layers were pretty
useful, with most of everyone contributing to a final total of 206-9. James
[Shaw] and Mr Darley would throw in a fifty partnership, before Shorten (29)
and Harris (20*) would impress at the end. Mike didn’t impress at the end and
Jake got to keep his shorts on… splitting his time between photography, umpiring
and recovering from the Green Man festival [where things weren’t raised to
ashes].
Fifty partnership for Messers Darley and James
Shaw. Time now to eat some
bread rolls, ingest several tons of cake and educate the uneducated that Tim
Henman lives next door behind some trees [when not in America for those 11 or
so months in-between]. Astons had replaced The
MAD in the Friendly Cup this year, seen as an ideal fit being located in the
South of Oxfordshire like most the other participants. They’ve been fairly
impressive by all accounts and judging by the way that O Corbett (18) teed
off from the start you could certainly understand why. Thank the gods then
that The MAD were spared their health when Darley [7-1-21-1] took a reactive
c&b off the young man in the sixth over.
Sweltering 2022 is synonymous for having a
minimum 2 drinks breaks per innings. Thereon it was the
[Jerry] Springer show as he tonked all and sundry to cow corner without once
listening to any guests in the audience telling him to try something
different [and good on him]. With the score now reading 160-2 and the asking
rate being only a nudge above a run a ball, MAD concerns were now fully
warranted. Enter David Shorten, a
man entrusted with the ball in front of others. A man of sublime wisdom and
variety who would go through a smorgasbord of tricks and grab back the
initiative [his own caught and bowled off Springer (70) being the highlight].
He was complemented by young Daniel Shaw (2-21), who after deciding he
couldn’t bowl uphill, could most certainly bowl downhill. Each to his own.
Here we find young Dan Shaw batting downhill. With David (4-7) picking
up the final few cottontail rabbits, The MAD would celebrate yet another
victory in August and a fifth Sunday match on the trot. A middle finger
raised to all those that say this team are totally shit after they return
from Tour. Maybe the FFTMCC should start the season on Tour? The end of an absorbing
day’s cricket would see both teams repair back to the Red Lion pub in
Blewbury, where you were afforded several hours to park your car and a
further day to get the attention of the [lonely] bar lady. Job done, it was
on to the beer garden to watch some drunken fitties dance with wine to a treehouse
deejay [Jules] and chance your arm at Cornhole. Good stuff.
’K. E. Y. Board’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far From the MCC versus Astons CC Played at Aston Tirrold, 28 August 2022 Astons CC won the toss and elected to
field Far From the MCC won by 27 runs Far from the MCC debuts: n/a |
22 / 583 35 over match |
|
Team |
Far From the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
I. Howarth |
b Smith |
33 |
(35) |
6 |
- |
2-72 |
|
2 |
C. T. J. Williams |
b Smith |
30 |
(24) |
6 |
- |
1-59 |
|
3 |
D. R. Shaw |
b A. Wood |
11 |
(23) |
1 |
- |
4-92 |
|
4 |
C. D. Roberts |
b Smith |
0 |
(1) |
- |
- |
3-72 |
|
5 |
D. Shorten |
c A. Wood b Smith |
29 |
(26) |
6 |
- |
5-123 |
|
6 |
M. K. Reeves |
b A. Wood |
4 |
(17) |
- |
- |
6-125 |
|
7 |
A. Darley |
b Allen |
32 |
(40) |
3 |
1 |
8-190 |
|
8 |
J. A. Shaw |
c Kilcoyne b Imbush |
13 |
(17) |
1 |
- |
7-176 |
|
9 |
J. Harris |
not out |
20 |
(23) |
3 |
- |
- |
|
10 |
R. P. Turner * |
lbw b Allen |
1 |
(5) |
- |
- |
9-206 |
|
11 |
J. C. W. Hotson † |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
NB2, W12, LB1, B18 |
33 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 9 wickets, 35 overs) |
206 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
|
1 |
Corbett |
4 |
1 |
31 |
0 |
7.75 |
|
|
2 |
Springer |
7 |
0 |
32 |
0 |
4.57 |
|
|
3 |
Smith |
7 |
1 |
40 |
4 |
5.71 |
|
|
4 |
A. Wood |
5 |
1 |
17 |
2 |
3.40 |
|
|
5 |
Kilcoyne |
3 |
0 |
28 |
0 |
9.33 |
|
|
6 |
Allen |
5 |
0 |
24 |
2 |
4.80 |
|
|
7 |
Imbush |
4 |
0 |
13 |
1 |
3.25 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Astons CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
D. Kilcoyne |
c Reeves b Harris |
34 |
|
6 |
- |
2-83 |
|
2 |
O. Corbett |
c and b Darley |
18 |
|
3 |
1 |
1-23 |
|
3 |
J. Springer |
c and b Shorten |
70 |
|
10 |
1 |
4-160 |
|
4 |
R. Harris |
c Harris b Shorten |
25 |
|
4 |
- |
3-160 |
|
5 |
J. Imbush |
run out (Harris) |
1 |
|
- |
- |
6-164 |
|
6 |
D. Hobley |
b D. Shaw |
1 |
|
- |
- |
5-163 |
|
7 |
G. Smith † |
c Hotson b D. Shaw |
0 |
|
- |
- |
7-167 |
|
8 |
A. Wood |
b Shorten |
14 |
|
3 |
- |
9-178 |
|
9 |
O. Morgan |
b Shorten |
0 |
|
- |
- |
8-177 |
|
10 |
G. Wood |
run out (Roberts/Shorten) |
1 |
|
- |
- |
10-179 |
|
11 |
S. Smith |
not out |
0 |
|
- |
- |
- |
|
12 |
C. Allen * |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
NB1, W4, LB5, B5 |
15 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
all out, 34.5 overs) |
179 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
|
1 |
Darley |
7 |
1 |
21 |
1 |
3.00 |
|
|
2 |
Reeves |
4 |
0 |
26 |
0 |
6.50 |
|
|
3 |
Roberts |
5 |
0 |
23 |
0 |
4.60 |
|
|
4 |
J. Shaw |
5 |
0 |
27 |
0 |
5.40 |
|
|
5 |
Harris |
4 |
0 |
32 |
1 |
8.00 |
|
|
6 |
D. Shaw |
4 |
0 |
21 |
2 |
5.25 |
|
|
7 |
Shorten |
4.5 |
1 |
7 |
4 |
1.45 |
|
|
8 |
Turner |
1 |
0 |
12 |
0 |
12.00 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note: C. Allen was replaced by
G. Wood at the interval |
|
||||||
|
MOTM: D. Shorten Champagne Moment: D. Shorten crucial
caught and bowled (Springer) Buffet Award: R. P. Turner’s hog roast (all the trimmings) MAD Moment: R. P. Turner’s tit stop
(using body as defensive shield) |
Opposition:
V046 / 24 Ground: G035 / 14 Captain: C024 / 71 Match No: 35 / 214 |