“Tonkfest 23”
Match: 23
/ 600
Lost
by 30 runs
|
Team |
Total |
|
Great Milton CC |
222 - 9 |
|
J. Harris
4 - 41, I. Howarth 2 - 31 |
|
|
|
|
|
FFTMCC |
192 - 5 |
|
C. Williams
53*, L. Ainsworth 47 |
|
|
With the trip to Ipsden
sadly abandoned, an SOS message sent out to the cricketing community brought
an intriguing invite from Great Milton CC. Having also lost their opposition
for the day, they were keen to play a like-minded side and The MAD quickly
boarded the team bus and headed for South Oxfordshire.
The village itself is
inhabited by approximately 1,000 people and is better known as the location
of Le Manoir. A famed establishment where gastronomy, gardens and culture
come alive in stunning surroundings, the venue also does fine food together
with very fine prices. It is worth noting that Raymond now charters a private
bus from Florence Park in Cowley for Dutch historian and famed novelist Jan vdG.
Webster. A suitably high-end transport link that is also taken advantage of
by famed nanny killer, Lord Lucan (when in the country). Great Milton is also detailed
with a most respectable pub (namely The Bull), where you can avail yourself
of a pint or three before the match whilst absorbing juicy local gossip from
the nonchalant landlady. Talking bollocks and utter
nonsense can of course continue in the garden out back as your chosen ride get
blocked in the car park*. The recreational ground itself
is just down the road and is located in a leafy basin flanked by trees and
houses, with a welcoming pavilion that stretches to an elevated children’s
park to one side. It is a reasonably small pitch and encourages batters to
try and skewer nesting birds in surrounding foliage and target the odd child
on a climbing frame**.
A man in the background rescues a child from the
deadly playground. After examining the
rather autumnal wicket, Captain Turner had little hesitation in sticking the
Miltonites into bat citing “that track looks like a fucking horror show!”
Indeed, it certainly wasn’t that bad***, with 400 plus runs subsequently splattered off the bat and
bowling figures deformed as the carnage continued throughout the day. This
was a true Tonkfest of tonkingness. First up to the
threshing machine were Messrs Shorten and Rundle,
the latter going for a pleasing economy of less than 10 per over. Reeves
(5-0-38-2) acquitted himself well, when he wasn’t getting spanked for maximums,
and Roberts did okay in getting carted for just the topside of 11 an over.
Chief tonkers of the ball were Noble (48 off 32
balls) and actually anyone from the top order who walked out to the middle
with a bat. A highlight was an enormous
90-yard six whalloped onto the clubhouse roof by Isherwood off the bowling of
Bob, and the lowlight was Webster catching a no-ball close to the boundary
and celebrating by then running over said boundary for six (plus 1)…. I have to report the
Milton innings stagnated towards the end as both Harris (5-0-41-4) and
Howarth (3-1-31-2) were rewarded for having the courage to bowl, but then
watched agog as skipper J. Barton (88*) returned, after an earlier retirement,
to plunder yet another bucketload of runs. The home team eventually checking
out on 222-9. This hammering wasn’t too bad when compared against the other
hammering in the Isle of Wight (Tonkfest 22), but nevertheless represented a darned
good humping in the 25-over format.
Webster clips one to leg as a ghostly girl stares down at him. The half-time interval
afforded Team MAD a period of reflection where the bowlers giggled at each
other’s economy rates and children returned to the playground without the
fear of death. John just sat there in stunned silence as he tried to fathom
how a 5-for somehow escaped him, when it could in all reality have been a
7-for. Never mind, Mr Harris, that plumb lbw was probably missing off stump
and leg stump…. In reply, the tonking
continued as Williams (53* ret) took advantage of anything overpitched, short,
wide or simply thrown at him. Alas, the required run
rate would naturally climb as overs passed by, but
was brought back a bit by Ainsworth (47) and Howarth’s (43) pyrotechnic
partnership further down the order. This cameo of 71 was added in just a little
more than 6 overs, with the latter enjoying the driving range that had a
plastic slide and themed climbing castle in its gunsight.
All good things must
end, and of course they did when Geoff (7*) got to the crease. Harris (1*)
watched him flap about without so much as timing a fart
whilst doing his best to protect his own average at the other end. MAD all out
of overs on 192-5 and all out of chances in the last chance saloon. As defeats go, this
certainly wasn’t one of the worst and the day on the whole was an enjoyable
one. It was certainly a fitting tribute to what was the 600th MAD game of cricket.
The opposition were keen spirited and much to our liking, the ground is an
interesting one and the friendly local pub caters for pissheads
from all walks of life. We hope to have found a new rivalry and very much
look forward to playing Great Milton in the future.
* - Note to The MAD: it is suggested you park at the recreation
ground and walk to the pub. ** - Note to The MAD: non-participating players/batters are
encouraged to stand on guard in the playground to prevent injury and death to
minors from falling cricket balls. *** - Note to The MAD: never judge a book by the cover. ’Lord Slogalot’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far From the MCC versus Great Milton
CC Played at Great Milton Recreation
Ground, 16 July 2023 Far from the MCC won the toss and
elected to field Great Milton CC won by 30 runs Far from the MCC debuts: n/a |
23 / 600 25 over match |
|
Team |
Great Milton CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
A. Noble |
c Shorten b Reeves |
48 |
(32) |
6 |
2 |
1-79 |
|
2 |
M. Block |
b Reeves |
30 |
(23) |
- |
2 |
2-90 |
|
3 |
H.
Isherwood |
b Howarth |
34 |
(25) |
5 |
1 |
3-172 |
|
4 |
J.
Barton * |
not out |
88 |
(46) |
8 |
8 |
4-174 |
|
5 |
T.
Robards |
c Shorten b Harris |
1 |
(2) |
- |
- |
5-174 |
|
6 |
S.
Turner † |
b Howarth |
1 |
(6) |
- |
- |
6-181 |
|
7 |
G. Block |
c & b Harris |
0 |
(2) |
- |
- |
7-181 |
|
8 |
C.
Winfield |
run out (Roberts/Ainsworth) |
6 |
(4) |
- |
1 |
8-181 |
|
9 |
S. Webb |
c Shorten b Harris |
0 |
(2) |
- |
- |
9-181 |
|
10 |
S.
Garwood |
not out |
1 |
(9) |
- |
- |
|
|
11 |
D. Gaughan |
c Rundle b Harris |
0 |
(2) |
- |
- |
|
|
|
Extras |
NB3, W3, LB3, B4 |
13 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 9 wickets, 25 overs) |
222 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
|
1 |
Shorten |
4 |
0 |
20 |
0 |
5.00 |
|
|
2 |
Rundle |
3 |
0 |
29 |
0 |
9.67 |
|
|
3 |
Reeves |
5 |
0 |
38 |
2 |
7.60 |
|
|
4 |
Roberts |
5 |
0 |
56 |
0 |
11.20 |
|
|
5 |
Harris |
5 |
0 |
41 |
4 |
8.20 |
|
|
6 |
Howarth |
3 |
1 |
31 |
2 |
10.33 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note: J. Barton retired after 17.0 overs and
returned after fall of 9th wicket (20.4 overs) |
|
||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Far from the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
C. T. J.
Williams |
retired |
53 |
(33) |
8 |
2 |
1-40 |
|
2 |
J. vdG.
Webster |
b Isherwood |
5 |
(15) |
1 |
- |
2-80 |
|
3 |
R. P.
Turner * |
c Ishwerood
b M. Block |
12 |
(18) |
1 |
- |
3-88 |
|
4 |
L. G.
Ainsworth † |
run out |
47 |
(32) |
8 |
- |
4-159 |
|
5 |
D.
Shorten |
b M. Block |
5 |
(7) |
1 |
- |
5-185 |
|
6 |
I.
Howarth |
c Turner b Winfield |
43 |
(28) |
5 |
2 |
|
|
7 |
G.
Carter |
not out |
7 |
(17) |
- |
- |
|
|
8 |
J.
Harris |
not out |
1 |
(3) |
- |
- |
|
|
9 |
M. K.
Reeves |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
M. S.
Rundle |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
C. D.
Roberts |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
NB3, W7, LB6, B3 |
19 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 5 wickets, 25 overs) |
192 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
|
1 |
Barton |
5 |
0 |
32 |
0 |
6.40 |
|
|
2 |
Isherwood |
3 |
0 |
15 |
1 |
5.00 |
|
|
3 |
M. Block |
4 |
0 |
40 |
2 |
10.00 |
|
|
4 |
G. Block |
4 |
0 |
24 |
0 |
6.00 |
|
|
5 |
Winfield |
5 |
0 |
31 |
1 |
6.20 |
|
|
6 |
Noble |
4 |
0 |
42 |
0 |
10.50 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note: C. T. J. Williams retired on 71-1 (10
overs) |
|
||||||
|
MOTM: I. Howarth Champagne Moment: I. Howarth straight six
into the trees and kids’ playground Buffet Award: C. D. Roberts’ BYO teas (cheap sandwiches and piss poor filling) MAD
Moment: J. vdG. Webster’s boundary catch off a no-ball, celebration and then running
jubilantly over the line for six…!? |
Opposition:
V130 / 001 Ground: G0115 / 001 Captain: C024 / 077 Match No: OT / 038 |