“Geoffball: The Genesis”

Match: 23 / 601

Won by 1 run

Team	Total
FFTMCC	100 - 7
D. Shorten 14
Headington Quarry CC	99 - 5
D. Shorten 1 - 5, A. Darley 1 - 12

Rarely is it that a single individual can shape the whole course of a game through their own actions. Even rarer, when an individual pioneers a whole new brand of cricketing tactic – Geoffball.

Dogged rearguard actions to save games are almost as revered in cricketing legend as the capacity to turn a game on its head through audacious hitting. The ability to battle and blunt attacks by facing down overwhelming odds in terms of both resources and time is rightly honoured.

Think of Jimmy and Monty at Cardiff in 2009, Mike Atherton at Jo ‘Burg in 95, and even further back Willie Watson and Trevor Bailey batting through most of the 5th day at Lords in ‘53 to salvage a draw that eventually enabled England to take the series 1-0 and win back the Ashes for the first time in 19 years. All situations where runs became irrelevant, all legendary.

The Quarry trying to get their heads around Geoffball.

The MAD are never ones to entirely go by the book, though, and on Wednesday 19th July 2023 we saw what must be a pioneering, example of a rearguard action taking place at the start of a game – an avant garde action, if you will. The pioneer, Mr Geoff Carter. Like Atherton’s 185*, Geoff’s 4 (off 36 balls, batting at 4 in a 20 over game) will become a signifier of a special moment in time. And unlike Atherton’s England, The MAD actually won their game….

Spam won the toss and via whatever passes for a thought process in our skipper’s Prosecco-addled bonce chose to bat on a warm dry evening. Hadfield and Webster got us off to a moderately sedate start with 20 on the board before the end of the 4th over. Cometh the hour, cometh the Geoff, and in strode our hero. Time then stood very, very still as we witnessed the introduction of Geoffball.

Before we go into grisly detail, however, let us not forget this is the only man to win Champagne Moment of the Season (2019) for a single blow (described thus: ‘…a crunched 1-wood speared into the wall at long on for a maximum! WOW!!!’). It’s also probably fair to point out that this writer once spent 29 balls ‘compiling’ 3 runs off Isis. That was on a Sunday, mind.

Here in 2021, Geoff demoed a type of Geoffball against Ferring after discussing with Spam.

Back in pre-IPL days the thought was always about setting a platform, keeping wickets intact for a later swish. Geoff, clearly in last millennium mode, duly got his head down, took full control of the situation and began to play and miss, firstly almost metronomically, then increasingly hypnotically. The bowler couldn’t get one past Geoff, Geoff couldn’t get one away from the bowler. It was not unlike watching two heavyweights slug it out while each being in different rooms. There is a famous tweet which encapsulates every ball of Stuart Broad’s 8-15 against Australia in 2015. In similar vein…

. . . . . . . . . . .

1 . 1 . . 1 . . . . . .

. . . . . . 1 . . . . W

For a while it was as if the game existed entirely within its own internal logic. Limbo is described as “an uncertain period of awaiting a decision or resolution; an intermediate state or condition” – we had reached this state when there was a sudden flurry of singles mid-innings – then we seemed to settle into Purgatory (“a place or state of suffering inhabited by the souls of sinners who are expiating their sins before going to heaven”.) Until it ended, it seemed endless. Then, suddenly, it wasn’t.“

Crucially, though, it must be said that while we may all have suffered in our own ways, we did not suffer a batting collapse and when Geoff was finally felled at the end of the 12th over (bowled by a ball travelling at approximately the same speed as a punt on the nearby Cherwell) we were 39-3 and still had 7 guns of various calibres and ranges left in our commodious bag of potential artillery.

Stock footage of Geoff preparing to play and miss to a ball missing the stumps.

Fortunately, none of them were really needed as Mr Extras top scored. In fact, Mr Extras with 30 actually scored more than twice as many runs as any of the actual individual batsman, although Hadfield (11) Rundle (12) and Shorten (14) did at least make double figures.

A four through the covers by the skipper off the very last ball of the innings saw the score reach 100 exactly. The phrase ‘something to chase’ was muttered only by the most positive amongst us (and James Hoskins was not playing that day). HQCC are a decent bunch and have numerous blokes capable of giving the ball a good pumping. Defending 5 an over is hard work and it’s fair to say that expectations were low. But, what Geoff actually achieved was turning what could have been a bog standard 20-over game into a low scoring thriller.

Excellent bowling from Messers Darley (1-12) and Reeves got The MAD off to a very tight start, going for just 5 off the first 3 overs and only 22 of the first 7, before Hofen, a Horspath regular, took to Mike’s last over. There may just have been a smidge of complacency in the HQ approach, after all, it would only take a few decent overs for them to get on top. All credit, though, to them for not amending their batting order and playing the game as it came throughout.

Next up, Dave Shorten’s spell (4-1-5-1) was magnificent. Off just a few paces he settled into a very tight line, proved impossible to get away and took out HQ’s gun batsman. Hofen, having raced to 18 off his first 5 balls with a six and several fours was probably just a full over of carnage away from running away with the game. Three superb overs in a row by Shorten and Bob sorted this out, the first by Dave pinned down Fred, the second by Bob saw him come back from a first over mauling by Hofen and keep him down to a solitary single, the third again saw Hofen unable to score until the 5th ball brought him down the wicket intent on clearing the long boundary only for the ball to nip back enough to clip the very top of the leg stump. A great ball to dismiss a very handy batsman.

Library footage of Shorten bowling (most likely an inswinger).

Even so, 36 off 6 overs with 7 wickets in hand looked very achievable for the Quarry as Fred and Harry Matthews set about the chase. With two overs to spare the target was down to 18. Off the 4th ball of Howarth’s over Matthews drilled one to a nerveless Reeves at mid-off to set up a fine finish with 13 wanted off the final over – for the first time in the game, The MAD were not just keeping pace but just ahead of the game. This must have been what Geoff had sensed when he went out to bat 35 overs previously.

Up stepped a remarkably sanguine Rundle. A single off the first ball was then followed by two boundaries through midwicket – the balance had shifted once again. Ball 4 and the batsmen went to repeat the shot but got too much elevation. John Harris came in off the boundary and took a very well-judged catch. A dot ball followed leaving a boundary to win off the final ball. Again, the new batsman slapped it through the legside but, again, John H stepped up and stopped it, keeping HQ to a two and ensuring a highly unexpected victory for The MAD by just 1 run.

Geoff: recognised for his Geoffball score of 4 (36 balls).

As the saying goes, there are many ways to skin a cat. Geoff’s feline flaying approach is definitely leftfield – but it worked. Furthermore, as this report was being compiled, we actually saw Geoffball being brought into the more rarified world of test cricket. Marnus Labuschagne chewed up 82 balls making 9 in the Australian’s first innings at The Oval, giving him a strike rate of 10.89, 0.21 slower than Geoff.

Geoff lit the fuse, Marnus imploded.

Geoffball.

’Boy Geoffcott’

*

Statto Scorecards

Far From the MCC versus Headington Quarry CC Played at Brasenose College, 19 July 2023 Headington Quarry CC won the toss and elected to field Far From the MCC won by 1 run Far from the MCC debuts: n/a

23 / 601 20 over match

Team	Far From the MCC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	R. J. T. Hadfield	c Fredrick b Khan	11	(14)	2	-	1-28
2	J. vdG. Webster	b Kai	9	(14)	-	-	2-28
3	G. Carter	b Qasim	4	(36)	-	-	3-39
4	M. S. Rundle	b Warner	12	(16)	1	-	4-46
5	A. Darley	c Khan b Warner	5	(4)	1	-	5-60
6	D. Shorten	c Khan b Warner	14	(19)	-	-	6-80
7	J. Harris	b Todd	7	(9)	1	-	7-86
8	I. Howarth *	not out	9	(9)	1	-
9	C. D. Roberts	not out	5	(3)	1	-
10	M. K. Reeves
11	R. P. Turner †
	Extras	NB5, W15, LB3, B1	24
	TOTAL	(for 7 wickets, 20 overs)	100

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts	Econ
1	Kai	4	0	16	1	4.00
2	Khan	4	0	13	1	3.25
3	Parker	2	0	4	0	2.00
4	Qasim	2	0	3	1	1.50
5	Warner	4	0	28	3	7.00
6	Worsfold	2	0	20	0	10.00
7	Todd	2	0	9	1	4.50

Team	Headington Quarry CC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	Qasim	b Darley	13	(19)	3	-	1-22
2	N. Pratt	run out (Shorten/Turner)	17	(26)	4	-	2-31
3	H. Matthews	c Reeves b Howarth	20	(36)	2	-	3-55
4	C. Hofen	b Shorten	20	(13)	3	1	4-85
5	J. Frederick †	not out	12	(19)	-	-	5-97
6	M. Parker	c Harris b Rundle	8	(5)	2	-
7	J. Worsfold	not out	2	(2)	-	-
8	J. Todd *
9	S. Khan
10	Kai
11	A. Warner
	Extras	W4, LB1, B2	7
	TOTAL	(for 5 wickets, 20 overs)	99

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts	Econ
1	Darley	4	1	12	1	3.00
2	Reeves	4	0	22	0	5.50
3	Shorten	4	0	5	1	1.25
4	Roberts	4	0	27	0	6.75
5	Howarth	2	0	12	1	6.00
6	Rundle	2	0	18	1	9.00

MOTM: D. Shorten Champagne Moment: D. Shorten’s inswinger to bowl Hofen Buffet Award: M. S. Rundle’s mouldy pizza bread (no cheese) MAD Moment: G. Carter’s 32nd dot ball

Opposition: V101 / 009 Ground: G040 / 102 Captain: C007 / 075 Match No: 20 / 178