“When 10 is 11

Except When it Isn’t”

Match: 23 / 602

Match Abandoned

Team	Total
Appleton CC	31 - 1
I. Howarth 1 - 16
FFTMCC

As Howarth retreated to the outfield to look ruefully at the darkening clouds above, he noted Mr Cartwright shuffling into view. Kitted out in his freshly pressed whites, Joe ambled to the boundary edge to enquire if The MAD were already fielding with eleven, had we borrowed someone? Eh? Of course not, we can count to eleven, can’t we? Nope, a quick head count made ten… “End of the over, Joe!” came the cry (realising we were short in the field). But for what exactly? The light drizzle rapidly becoming heavy drizzle and giving over to heavy rain? Joe simply turned on the spot and headed back to the pavilion with everybody else. He’d been to Appleton of course, to sit on his tod and keep his own counsel and probably to enjoy far more intelligent company.

In the little time this game existed, Shorten bowled some decent inswingers, Howarth threw some shit down leg and Trussler (1) was bowled heaving across the line. Some twenty minutes later and this game was done.

Joe… MOTM for mostly keeping his whites dry and not wasting his time.

Thus, the forecasters had ultimately been proved correct and a match reduced in scope was furtherly cut to just seven overs in total. It is fairly certaint this match would never have happened at all if the previous Sunday did happen, which of course it didn’t, because of the shit July weather helped in so small part by the southerly fucking jet stream.

So, that’s a wrap, ladies and gentlemen, following a cancellation and an abandonment, this was the final MAD action in readiness for Tour. As ever, the touring squad would be subsequently announced to a frenzy of waiting media….

The FFTMCC 2023 Suffolk Tour squad in full:

Matt ‘I’ve (always still) got plenty of drinking to catch up on!’ Bullock
Geoff ‘The Legend’ Carter

Joe ‘Male voice choir’ Cartwright
Andy ‘I saw a shrink that cured me’ Darley

Richard ‘The nanny killer’ Hadfield
JMO ‘Pizza creator and overly optimistic gambling addict’ Hoskins
Jake ‘Kettle injuries and Tour abbreviations’ Hotson
Ian ‘Drunkard and dispiriting moaner’ Howarth
Mike ‘Club embezzlement and fraudulent beancounter’ Reeves

Chris ‘Centre forward / good in the air’ Roberts*
Mark ‘Reincarnation’ Rundle v2.0
Gary ‘Somerset Raver and Karaoke King’ Timms
Russ ‘Soon to hospitalised‘ Turner

Jan ‘House Party and lover of all things Ruskin’ Webster

Chris ‘Soccer star lookalike and father of twenty’ Williams

Kaito ‘If dad’s getting the beers in, I’m in!’ Kawada-Williams

* - Bob sadly could not make Tour in the end

’Archimedes’

*

Statto Scorecards

Far From the MCC versus Appleton CC Played at Brasenose College, 30 July 2023 Appleton CC won the toss and elected to bat Match Abandoned (rain) Far from the MCC debuts: n/a

23 / 602 25 over match

Team	Appleton CC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	L. King	not out	16		1	-	1-10
2	N. Trussler †	b Howarth	1		-	-
3	P. Atkinson	not out	9		1	-
4	W. Geller *
5	M. Blake
6	C. Jones
7	J. Timmins
8	D. Wallom
9	S. Fox
10	G. Pearson
11	M. Tkaczyk
	Extras	W4, B1	5
	TOTAL	(for 1 wicket, 7 overs)	31

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts	Econ
1	Shorten	3	0	9	0	3.00
2	Howarth	3	0	16	1	5.33
3	Timms	1	0	5	0	5.00
Note: J. A. Cartwright prepared to come on the field in the 8th over but never made it on (rain)

Team	Far from the MCC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	R. J. T. Hadfield
2	R. P. Turner *
3	J. A. Cartwright
4	D. Shorten
5	J. A. Shaw
6	I. Howarth
7	P. A. J. Bagot
8	G. J. Timms
9	M. S. Rundle
10	M. K. Reeves
11	G. Carter †
	Extras
	TOTAL

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts	Econ
1
2
3
4
5
6

MOTM: J. A. Cartwright Champagne Moment: I. Howarth for bowling a batsman Buffet Award: I. Howarth’s microwaved potatoes and out -of-date corn beef hash MAD Moment: J. A. Cartwright’s failed day which is ultimately proved a greater wisdom

Opposition: V051 / 037 Ground: G040 / 103 Captain: C024 / 078 Match No: OT / 039