“Part III of IV”

Match: 24 / 636

Lost by 7 wkts

Team	Total
FFTMCC	194 - 4
D. Shorten 71*, J. Harris 47*
Wootton & Bladon CC	195 - 3
M. Reeves 1 - 27

It would’ve been easy to entitle this ramble “FFS Geoff!!!” or perhaps “Geoff Takes It on The Chin”, or even more childishly, “Geoff Prevents Harris Fifty in Burdening A&E Furtherly on a Bank Holiday Weekend (Sigh).” But truth be told, we’d be missing the point, because after the initial giggle of Umpire Carter intercepting a ball heading to the square leg boundary, time slowed markedly and players suddenly became worried as the situation unfolded. For some, minds immediately raced back to the Bob incident at Hailsham in 2021.

Bob hovers the crash scene with a loaded first aid kit.

Thankfully, no real harm was done, save for an early MAD declaration prompted in the 35th over, no Harris fifty as previously mooted, a MAD cricket shirt bathed soaked in claret, a reservoir of glue used up at the JR* to stick Geoff’s head back together, and of course an extra bunch of petrol required by John (Harris) to drive Geoff’s passengers back home after the match (oh, the irony). Putting everything into perspective, we’ll happily take these outcomes.

The backstory of this match is worth a mention / moan too: because as time erodes our memories, some of us might stumble back on this report and wonder why the fuck The MAD were playing their rotund nemesis on three consecutive weekends? You can blame Ralph and blame the Astons, or maybe just blame… [resists the temptation to add a name beginning with ‘G’ here].

Webster hits a ball but later makes a stunning catch.

To be fair to Ralph and our year-on-year regular oppo, the summer holidays can flay a team’s resources what with trips to Legoland with the kids, seaside vacations with the missus, getting fucked up at festivals and a myriad of other distractions. So it was that five available Aston players on the Monday only increased by one or two by Wednesday, until a time the match was finally put out of its misery. By then of course, opportunities to travel elsewhere had evaporated. The MAD couldn’t host, and… well… what was left? (ahem)

So, what happened after a cursory meet and sarcastic greet at the pub beforehand?

Wootton won the toss and stuck The MAD in with Pearson (30) arriving promptly to unfold his lazy chair and chalk up a resolute 30 in the process. Webster and Howarth were shit, then a diligent Harris (47*) watched from one end as Shorten discarded his recent mental demons and smacked 71 not out off about half as many balls. David claims to do this once in every twenty innings, but history would say that’s bollocks and in fact he does it about once every four years (Brighton being his last salvo). Regardless, it was a joy to watch as he smashed some Poole and Dale pie about with a joyous abandon. Mr Shorten loves pie and pie loves him.

This 101* run partnership for the fifth wicket was only ended when Geoff tried a flick on at the near post, but it was excellent fun whilst it lasted and did allow The MAD to post a more than respectable 194 before the Cassington Feast (a casual sit down in-between innings with an abundant supply of sandwiches, patisseries, cakes, scones, crisps, more cakes, more sandwiches, an additional quiche deluxe, more sandwiches, extra crisps and a bowl of cherry tomatoes if you’re feeling a little fruity). Players then slump in their chairs for a few hours to allow the gravitational pull of their guts to drag them on to the floor of the pavilion before a brief siesta / food coma.

In reply, Wootton’s serene chase was only interrupted by a worldly, one-handed pluck from the heavens from Mr Webster, whilst back peddling and tumbling arse over tit at mid off (A Hambridge caught for 31). I’m glad I witnessed this catch as it really didn’t belong to this day, and I would be shocked it if wasn’t re-enacted at the end of season AGM, where Jan will probably soak the pub floor crashing backwards over a beer table and getting us barred from the St Aldates.

Thereafter, not much really happened to be honest, other than Arun Horne tonking us into oblivion with a workmanlike 81 not out (11 fours and 3 sixes mostly off Timms), and some annoying little whippet scampering about like his life depended on it to keep him company (Trinder 26* and actually a bloody funny annoying little whippet). Game over.

Always a fun day and sarcastic out against the lads from Wootton, be they from the West or from Bladon or simply lowering the value of properties around Cassington or a school in Woodstock.

Thank fuck that’s that double-header out the way then, where to next week? Oh….

* JR – John Radcliffe hospital

‘Déjà vu’

*

Statto Scorecards

Far From the MCC versus Wootton & Bladon CC Played at Cassington, 25 August 2024 Wootton & Bladon CC won the toss and elected to field Wootton & Bladon CC won by 7 wkts Far from the MCC debuts: n/a

24 / 636 35 over match

Team	Far From the MCC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	J. W. Pearson	c unknown b Walker	30	(43)	5	-	1-46
2	J. vdG. Webster	c Barber b Trinder	8	(23)	1	-	2-48
3	J. Harris	not out	47	(53)	8	-	3-57
4	I. Howarth	b Trinder	5	(7)	1	-	4-93
5	R. P. Turner *†	b Dale	22	(46)	2	-
6	D. Shorten	not out	71	(36)	12	1
7	G. J. Timms
8	M. K. Reeves
9	M. S. Rundle
10	C. D. Roberts
11	G. Carter
	Extras	LB3, B7	10
	TOTAL	(for 4 wickets, 34.3 overs)	194

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts	Econ
1	Barber	3	0	16	0	5.33
2	Trinder	7	1	13	2	1.86
3	Walker	7	0	25	1	3.57
4	Dale	7	1	44	1	6.29
5	Poole	7	0	46	0	6.57
6	Dalimore	3.3	0	40	0	11.43
Note: Far from the MCC innings curtailed after injury to G. Carter whilst umpiring

Team	Wootton & Bladon CC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	A. Hambridge	c Webster b Rundle	31		5	-	1-64
2	J. J. Bouwer	b Reeves	38		5	-	2-84
3	D. De Bono	c Howarth b Timms	7		1	-	3-93
4	A. Horne	not out	81		11	3
5	J. Trinder	not out	26		2	-
6	J. Barber *
7	R. Dalimore
8	G. Doggett +
9	S. Poole
10	W. Dale
11	A. Walker
	Extras	W3, LB7, B2	12
	TOTAL	(for 3 wickets, 29.1 overs)	195

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts	Econ
1	Roberts	7	0	44	0	6.29
2	Reeves	7	0	27	1	3.86
3	Timms	4	0	47	1	11.75
4	Rundle	6	0	33	1	5.50
5	Shorten	3	0	22	0	7.33
6	Howarth	1.1	0	10	0	8.57
7	Pearson	1	0	7	0	7.00

MOTM: D. Shorten Champagne Moment: J. vdG. Webster’s stunning back peddling, one-handed catch at mid off Buffet Award: G. J. Timms’ marmalised shortcrust fruit cake (extra filling) MAD Moment: G. Carter injured as umpire at square leg (chinning the ball down)

Opposition: V025 / 042 Ground: G067 / 013 Captain: C024 / 097 Match No: 35 / 238