“Captain’s Alternative Match Report”
Match: 07 / 146
Won by 7 wkts
|
Team |
Total |
|
Sidley CC |
151 |
|
J.
Hoskins 3 - 14, S. Parkinson 2 - 7 |
|
|
|
|
|
FFTMCC |
152 - 3 |
|
N.
Hebbes 50, M. Westmoreland 44* |
|
|
We
played Sidley. They comprised an arrogant opener who thought he was KP and
who was banging some 13 year old girl who also played. They had a gobby
keeper, like us. They also had a fat bloke called Trev who was the skipper /
groundsman / president. They also had a fat bloke called Steve who was Trev's
nephew. He bowled left arm over with a lazy front arm. They also had a young
lad who could bowl quite quick. He was Trev's son. I liked Sidley, they had
nice Sarnies and fish and chips.
Some Sidley batsman
hits some bowling off someone. They
batted first and it was all we could do not to bowl them out for under 50.
Thanks to amazing Corinthian style captaincy I managed to engineer a position
whereby we at least had some runs to chase. Other captains would just have
ground them in to the dirt, but not me. The incumbent captain attempted to
make my day as difficult as possible, but largely failed due to his inferior
intellect. If it was a battle of wits he wanted he should be aware that I
never fight an unarmed man. I bowled brilliantly, but instead of trying to
corner the bowling prize which should have rightly been mine, I let other
players, who the incumbent captain never really allows to bowl, have a long
extended spell.
The incumbent skipper
(right) spent more time on the shitter than on the field. All
the players in the side commented how nice it was to be captained by a
professional and how they had got much more out of the game than at any point
in the past few years. I
suffered a horrendous injury. We had a gay hat that was given to the latest
dropper of catches. Most of which came off my bowling as usual. I dropped one
but only to make a game of it.
Me after my
‘horrendous’ leg injury. We
batted. Hebbes batted well and so did Geoff. Moo did too probably. And Jake.
John faced a ball. Ian was relegated down the order. Think that was about it.
N. Hebbes apparently
batting well. ‘Raymond Domenech’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Sidley CC Played at Sidley, 17 August 2007 Far from the MCC won the toss and elected to bat Far from the MCC won by 7 wkts Far from the MCC debuts: none |
07 / 146 40 over match |
|
Team |
Sidley CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
C. Ramsden |
c Smith b Mann |
5 |
|
1 |
- |
1-11 |
|
2 |
D. Aver |
b Parkinson |
43 |
|
4 |
1 |
3-63 |
|
3 |
T. Finsell |
b Shorten |
6 |
|
1 |
- |
2-38 |
|
4 |
S. Ramsden * |
c Westmoreland b Harris |
37 |
|
4 |
1 |
6-103 |
|
5 |
A. Nicholas |
b Parkinson |
0 |
|
- |
- |
4-63 |
|
6 |
K. Kempthorn |
c and b Hoskins |
8 |
|
1 |
- |
5-103 |
|
7 |
I. Mollart |
b Harris |
5 |
|
1 |
- |
8-109 |
|
8 |
C. O’Connor |
c Hotson b Hoskins |
0 |
|
- |
- |
7-105 |
|
9 |
R. Dangerfield |
c Howarth b Hoskins |
5 |
|
- |
- |
9-128 |
|
10 |
J. Bull |
not out |
12 |
|
1 |
- |
- |
|
11 |
T. Ramsden |
c Harris b Mann |
7 |
|
- |
- |
10-151 |
|
|
Extras |
(NB13, W2, LB1, B7) |
23 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(all out, 39.4 overs) |
151 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Shorten |
6 |
0 |
36 |
1 |
|
|
2 |
Mann |
6.4 |
2 |
12 |
2 |
|
|
3 |
Westmoreland |
4 |
0 |
17 |
0 |
|
|
4 |
Parkinson |
3 |
1 |
7 |
2 |
|
|
5 |
Hoskins |
7 |
2 |
14 |
3 |
|
|
6 |
Harris |
6 |
1 |
28 |
2 |
|
|
7 |
Smith |
7 |
1 |
29 |
0 |
|
|
Team |
Far from
the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
N. Hebbes |
b Finsell |
50 |
(61) |
5 |
- |
2-79 |
|
2 |
J. C. W. Hotson |
b T. Ramsden |
12 |
(36) |
1 |
- |
1-43 |
|
3 |
G. Carter + |
b T. Ramsden |
27 |
(47) |
3 |
- |
3-151 |
|
4 |
M. T. Westmoreland |
not out |
44 |
(52) |
7 |
- |
- |
|
5 |
J. Harris |
not out |
0 |
(1) |
- |
- |
- |
|
6 |
D. Shorten |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
7 |
T. P. W. Smith |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
J. D. Hoskins |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
A. Mann |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
I. Howarth |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
S. B. Parkinson * |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(NB2, W9, LB5, B3) |
19 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 3 wickets, 31.5 overs) |
152 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Aver |
8 |
1 |
30 |
0 |
|
|
2 |
C. Ramsden |
5 |
0 |
20 |
0 |
|
|
3 |
T. Ramsden |
7.5 |
2 |
40 |
2 |
|
|
4 |
Finsell |
7 |
0 |
28 |
1 |
|
|
5 |
O’Connor |
3 |
0 |
23 |
0 |
|
|
6 |
S. Ramsden |
1 |
0 |
6 |
0 |
|
|
MOTM: N. Hebbes Champagne Moment: M. Westmoreland’s catch
on the boundary Buffet Award: D. Shorten’s overrated Boars
Hill soup (with crap croutons) |
Opposition:
V043 / 01 Ground: G033 / 01 Captain: C014 / 01 |