“Reeves Makes History as the Skipper Gets Egg
on his Face”
Match: 07 / 139
Lost by 32 runs
|
Team |
Total |
|
Milton CC |
127 |
|
M.
Westmoreland 3 - 23, J. Harris
2 - 20 |
|
|
|
|
|
FFTMCC |
95 |
|
G.
Littlechild 26, D. Edwards
23 |
|
|
A year on from the now
infamous Milton debacle of 2006, Team Mad arrived in the picturesque village
of Bloxham for pre-match drinks and banter along with Joe Puppy – the popular
black Labrador dog who’s face now adorned his doting father’s works wagon. Despite
Joe’s advancing years and “cute” days now behind him, the players of the Far
from the MCC would still refer to him as “a puppy”. A strange quirk, but then
maybe the guys preferred to remember that lovely little pup who sat on your
lap with hangdog eyes, and fell asleep with those floppy ears of his? Far
better than the behemoth hound that now dieted on raw cricket balls, dragging
them through hedgerows as they clung to his lead. Whatever the reason, Joe
will probably always be “a puppy” – just a very big one.
“Puppy or not a puppy? Or just a big
fat smelly disorderly puppy?” With the weather very
reminiscent of the previous year – blue skies peppered with little fluffy
clouds – it was a given that this would be a great day for winning the toss
and electing to bat. There’s not much better than slipping into your shorts,
putting your feet up, and watching the opposition toil in the heat as your
teammates belt the ball around in the sun. It’s great – just sitting there,
chewing the cud over a cold beer, joking about the ills of the world
surrounded by nature and your buddies. It’s just a wonderful way to unfold
after a fraught week at work, and it’s just a shame then that the incumbent Skipper
of The MAD never wins a fucking toss anymore…. Since Milton only lost a
single wicket the previous year in chasing down a modest Mad total [read shit
total], their batting strength was largely an unknown. Though The MAD were
aware of one G. Wilby, who had feasted on the egg and sausage rolls that day to
post a rather thunderous half-century. So it was something of a concern to
see M. Westmoreland spill a chance off the opener first up. Fortunately, Moo
had the wits about him to snatch the ball off the turf and hurl it to the
keeper – the hapless Mr. Wilby ran out for a duck. What a difference a year
makes, huh?
The MAD lament on fielding in the heat
(again). Despite the humidity, both a
luckless [and cursing] A. Mann (6-2-11-0) and a miserly S. Dobner bowled with
excellent control to keep the Milton score in check. And with the score on
24, Dobner was rewarded with an authentic
cricket dismissal, as he found the outside edge to his shell-shocked
brother-in-law behind the sticks. Edges to the keeper are as rare to The MAD
as finding a lady in Essex wearing knickers – so celebrations were raucous
and much backslapping was had. With the green coloured pitch
now showing discerning variation of bounce, I. Howarth (6-0-24-2) replaced S.
Dobner and immediately found success.
He rattled the timber and then had a sprawling A. Mann pouching a good
one at mid off. M. Reeves (6-0-25-0) had little joy at the other end, but
with the introduction of M. Westmoreland (6-1-23-3), Mike’s day would soon
improve. In fact, Mr. Reeves’ day would soon become something quite
memorable. Firstly he pouched a couple of steeplers off Moo at mid on, and
then a 20 yard sprint at deep cow yielded another off twirler J. Harris
(6-0-20-2). Had Mike suddenly become a source of magnetism for the small red
round thing?
Hours would tick by as Edwards took
guard to bat for The MAD. The Milton innings was now
falling apart, and when J. Hotson hung onto the aggressive D. Smith (39), it
was all left to a returning S. Dobner (6.3-1-21-2) to exact the rights.
Naturally the ball to slay the beast was a rank long-hop outside the leg
stump, but unfortunately for M. Pearson he decided to smear it straight to a
waiting midwicket – a certain M. Reeves, who after a gloriously entertaining
juggle managed to snag his fourth catch of the match. With chants of
“Marlborough, Marlborough – give us a wave”, Mike had thus equalled a 6 year
old Mad record held by one Howard Jones. Milton all out for 127.
“Ha – we really are crap when we come to Milton!” After their excellent effort
in the field, the Far from the MCC certainly enjoyed their tea. It was during
this respite that Skipper I. Howarth unveiled a change to the batting order.
Much of the team had experienced little or no batting practice in recent
weeks due to the incessant rain and poor standard of opposition, and with
such a mediocre target to chase, he decided a tweak was in order. The rest,
as they say, is history…. On the resumption of the
game, G. Littlechild and D. Edwards would see off the hostilities from Milton
paceman D. Smith, as they ushered The MAD along to a respectable 40-0. At
this point, Gary (26) scooped a treacle pudding to short cover, subsequently
complaining in an embittered fashion about his lack of energy due to keeping 30-plus
overs in the blazing sun. His case seemed a justifiable one, yet Gary found
little solace from his Captain [“just stick your fucking pads on”] or the
Fines Committee later on [“stop yer bloody whinging”]. Edwards now watched as
partners M. Bullock and A. Fisher collected poultry for their evening roast, and
Mad momentum grinding to a halt.
D. Edwards (23) drives through the
covers. Enter Man of the Day, Mr.
Reeves, utilising a mixture of French cricket defence and cudgelling smears
to get things re-energised. Alas, Edwards (23) parted company [in comical
fashion] after going walkabout in his crease, and if Dan’s dismissal was
ridiculous, what came next wouldn’t have looked out of place in a circus. Following
a ponderous three hour walk out to the middle, A. Mann (1) groped for a
length ball, got his spikes stuck in the turf, fell flat on his arse, and
somehow got clean bowled. There was hardly a man standing after that
dismissal. The whole of Bloxham fell about, with the laughter clearly heard
in nearby Adderbury. Howarth’s face continued to
darken as both J. Hotson (0) and J. Harris (0) bagged a duck apiece [John’s
specimen garnished a lovely golden colour – his second such find of the year],
and with Reeves (23) leaving after a hoik too many, MAD hopes now tottered in
the runny brown stuff [81-8].
The MAD collapse was all so amusing
for W. G. Grace. But even at this stage of the
innings, the visitors assuaged a certain degree of confidence – with batsmen
nine, ten and Jack all being regular top-order bats. Surely they couldn’t
fuck this up? They could, and the script continued to tear, with S. Dobner (13)
next to go packing whilst dealing with a straight one. 95-9. Last men
standing. Howarth’s arrival at the
crease was met with a jibe or three – all in good jest, and some of it even
amusing. He stoically blocked out the final ball of the over to reconcile
with Martin just what was needed to be done. In short, save some face and dig
the team out of this shitty hole he’d engineered. Alas, this day was already
done, with Westmoreland (5) going the very next ball as he glanced to leg. All
out and Howarth (0*) left stranded with egg on his face. The Fines Committee would
later boost club coffers considerably, as they laid waste to this latest
Milton fiasco – nobody was spared. Even the beer on the table went the way of
the match, as an off-kilter Frisbee sent tankards a tumbling. A dark day in
Mad Captaincy. A dark day indeed. Well done, Ian. Well done
indeed.
“Taxi for Howarth!” ‘C. Lueless’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Milton CC Played at Bloxham (Warriner School),
10 June 2007 Milton CC
won the toss and elected to bat Milton CC won by 32 runs Far from the MCC debuts: none |
07 / 139 40 over match |
|
Team |
Milton CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
G. Wilby * |
run out (Westmoreland) |
0 |
|
|
|
1-5 |
|
2 |
A. Stanley + |
c Mann b Howarth |
34 |
|
|
|
4-60 |
|
3 |
R. Lambden |
c Littlechild b Dobner |
10 |
|
|
|
2-24 |
|
4 |
M. Burden |
b Howarth |
4 |
|
|
|
3-47 |
|
5 |
C. Higgs |
c Reeves b Harris |
21 |
|
|
|
5-112 |
|
6 |
D. Smith |
c Hotson b Westmoreland |
39 |
|
|
|
8-118 |
|
7 |
A. Donaldson |
c Reeves b Westmoreland |
0 |
|
|
|
6-112 |
|
8 |
D. Quinney |
c Reeves b Westmoreland |
3 |
|
|
|
7-115 |
|
9 |
K. Critchley |
c Littlechild b Harris |
1 |
|
|
|
9-119 |
|
10 |
L. Houseman |
not out |
1 |
|
|
|
- |
|
11 |
M. Pearson |
c Reeves b Dobner |
7 |
|
|
|
10-127 |
|
|
Extras |
(W3, LB2, B2) |
7 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(all out, 37.3 overs) |
127 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Dobner |
6.3 |
1 |
21 |
2 |
|
|
2 |
Mann |
6 |
2 |
11 |
0 |
|
|
3 |
Howarth |
6 |
0 |
24 |
2 |
|
|
4 |
Reeves |
6 |
0 |
25 |
0 |
|
|
5 |
Harris |
6 |
0 |
20 |
2 |
|
|
6 |
Westmoreland |
6 |
1 |
23 |
3 |
|
|
Team |
Far from
the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
G. S. Littlechild + |
c Wilby b Critchley |
26 |
(42) |
2 |
- |
1-42 |
|
2 |
D. M. Edwards |
st Stanley b Higgs |
23 |
(78) |
2 |
- |
4-69 |
|
3 |
M. Bullock |
c Smith b Critchley |
0 |
(16) |
- |
- |
2-50 |
|
4 |
A. J. Fisher |
b Critchley |
0 |
(4) |
- |
- |
3-50 |
|
5 |
M. K. Reeves |
b Quinney |
23 |
(29) |
3 |
- |
8-81 |
|
6 |
A. G. Mann |
b Higgs |
1 |
(9) |
- |
- |
5-71 |
|
7 |
J. C. W. Hotson |
st Stanley b Critchley |
0 |
(5) |
- |
- |
6-72 |
|
8 |
J. Harris |
b Critchley |
0 |
(1) |
- |
- |
7-72 |
|
9 |
S. L. P. Dobner |
b Wilby |
13 |
(17) |
1 |
- |
9-95 |
|
10 |
M. T. Westmoreland |
c Stanley b Quinney |
5 |
(4) |
1 |
- |
10-95 |
|
11 |
I. Howarth * |
not out |
0 |
(1) |
- |
- |
- |
|
|
Extras |
(W3, LB1) |
4 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(all out, 34.2 overs) |
95 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Smith |
6 |
2 |
14 |
0 |
|
|
2 |
Pearson |
5 |
1 |
23 |
0 |
|
|
3 |
Higgs |
8 |
3 |
11 |
2 |
|
|
4 |
Critchley |
8 |
3 |
23 |
5 |
|
|
5 |
Wilby |
4 |
1 |
17 |
1 |
|
|
6 |
Quinney |
2.2 |
1 |
6 |
2 |
|
|
MOTM: M. K. Reeves Champagne Moment: M. K. Reeves’ juggling
fourth catch Buffet
Award: M. K. Reeves’ hog roast (with
double dipped chips) |
Opposition:
V040 / 02 Ground: G029 / 02 Captain: C007 / 24 |