“Just Playing with Ourselves”

Match: 12 / 267

Won by 11 runs

Team	Total
FFTMCC	159 - 6
I. Howarth 49, M. Westmoreland 41
Harwell CC	148 - 7
M. Reeves 2 - 23

An animated call reporting flash floods and monsoon conditions in nearby Streatley left Skipper Westmoreland rather bemused. What were a group of his players doing in Streatley before a game was due to start in Harwell – and what on earth were they on about? Howarth getting lost in his car was par for the course, but bright and sunny conditions overhead suggested anything other than a game of cricket being played. Localised flooding? Sure enough, Harwell escaped – Streatley didn’t.

Pub cat shelters for the deluge in Streatley (not to be confused with Harwell).

Having stepped in at short notice to fill a fixture void left by the Audley Ducks, Harwell CC took advantage of Sunday cricket etiquette by having the Far from the MCC supplement their team with two fielders after Martin’s latest winning of the toss. It was the least The MAD could do given the circumstances – yet, it still didn’t stop most The MAD team from quickly organising themselves to avoid helping out. The best example being Jan Webster’s forward thinking in grabbing the scorebook and declaring himself now “unavailable” for any on-field activities. Impressive, Jan – you calculating bastard.

You relax in your shorts, Jan – we’ll do the running about.

Howarth’s decision at number 3 to go for a dump just seconds before the start of The MAD innings was a bold one, he obviously reasoned on the obdurate, wall-like defences of Edwards being more than enough to repel the first over. Dobner’s banging on the loo door seconds later exclaiming “Dan’s out first ball!” was naturally met with an atypical reply of “whatever”. That Ian managed to finish up and sprint to the wicket past an eager number four in R. Turner, is perhaps testament to his legendary shitting ability.

After a few early scares on a pitch offering movement and variety of bounce, Howarth and Westmoreland began to settle in. Form with the bat has been a most elusive commodity of late, especially with much of the season being lost to rain – but here was that rare opportunity to generate some. Together they saw off the opening combo of Reiss (7-0-30-2) and Webb (7-1-23-0) and gradually began to express themselves. Their partnership passed 50 and even succeeded in making the drinks break. It’s amazing how the threat of fielding for the opposition concentrates the mind on ones batting.

Westmoreland and Howarth add 98 for the 2nd wicket.

If the following episode sounds dreadfully familiar – it is: the notorious mini-Mad collapse. Not to be confused with the all-enveloping, Milton-esque stellar implosion, but a smaller less spectacular fuck up that can sometimes lead to a secondary implosion. I’m happy to report that Part II failed to materialise, though I doubt people would have noticed as they were still picking themselves off the floor following Part I. With the score on 98-1 after 23.2 overs of relative serenity, the two batsmen were separated after discussing the need for 2 paltry runs for their 100 partnership – Martin (41) thus top edging a full toss from pieman, R. Stewart, to backward leg. They crossed and so Howarth faced the next ball. Amazingly he stretched to reach a wide and only succeeded in lobbing a doughnut straight to a grinning Mike Reeves at point. 98-3 and Howarth (49) netting record fines by twice bringing the game into disrepute (£5 a time) as he kicked and threw his kit all the way back to the pavilion. Whether the previous melodramatics affected S. Dobner it is hard to say, but he continued the ‘over of shame’ by miscuing a lightly iced bun straight to cover. 99-4. Stewart (2-0-9-3) bagging 3 wickets in an over and the part-time pieman retiring to the outfield shortly after knowing things can never ever get any better than this.

Steve Dobner enjoyed an excellent all round game of cricket.

The MAD’s eventual total of 159-6 was anchored by a workmanlike knock from the revelatory Turner (26*) batting at four. He was ably assisted by J. Pearson (11) and some late hitting by M. Reeves (16) – who selflessly ran himself out for the third time in as many games off the final ball of the innings. It was a remarkable feature of the FFTMCC innings that throughout the 35 overs they batted – they continually hit the ball to themselves, over themselves and wide of themselves. All this played out to the bemusement of the home side, who simply stood idle in the field watching their substitute fielders run themselves into the ground. The sight of P. Mellor in his pink sun visor wobbling after all-ran threes and fours on this massive ground somehow epitomising the insanity of it all….

Plush blue skies and sunshine welcomed a relaxed tea interval – with both teams suitably happy with where the game stood. Harwell requiring approximately 4.5 an over for victory.

Nice clubhouse at Harwell. Very nice.

The impressive D. Emerson (7-1-11-1) made the early breakthrough on resumption, trapping Hussain for just 10. But it would prove a lonely wicket as Stewart and Hawkes shared a lengthy 20 over partnership hoisting the home team’s total to 94-1. Timms (5-0-29-0), Webster (4-0-21-0) and Dobner (7-0-25-0) all tried their luck, but to little avail. Tiring Mad shoulders began to slump.

It was a crucial stage of the match and having done bugger all with the bat, Mr. Edwards (5-0-29-1) finally worked some magic with the ball – having the dangerous Stewart castled for 40. It may well have been the turning point in the game – who knows? Going into the final 7 overs Harwell required 44 runs for victory with 6 of their possible 8 wickets in hand.

Pointless photo of Duck….

Shorn of regular bowling resources, Westmoreland reluctantly turned to the cynically ageing Reeves and Howarth to finish things off. Normally these two medium pace trundlers can be seen trying to catch the Skipper’s eye by going through ridiculous warm-up routines in the field; and normally Martin manages to avoid eye-contact in favour of youth and vigour (if indeed The MAD boast any youth and vigour). Beggars can’t be choosers, so Reeves and Howarth got thrown the ball – and inexplicably they repaid their Skipper’s faith. Howarth (3-0-7-1) used his recent T20 ‘death bowling’ to excellent effect, with Reeves maintaining admirable line and length in the line of fire. With one over left and 20 runs still required for victory, it was always going to prove too greater a hill for Harwell to climb. Despite Reeves (4-0-23-2) ramping up the tension with a succession of wides, The MAD won out by the comfortable margin of 11 runs.

Harwell proved a most engaging and humorous outfit – a team the Far from the MCC will hopefully enjoy regular contests with in seasons to come. As well as being on our level, they’ve also adopted post-match fines at the pub – seeing fit to label us with a fantastic barb relating to our substitute fielding: “you guys just like playing with yourselves.” Indeed we do.

Indeed we do.

‘Spam’

*

Statto Scorecards

Far from the MCC versus Harwell CC Played at Harwell, 29 July 2012 Far from the MCC won the toss and elected to bat Far from the MCC won by 11 runs Far from the MCC debuts: none

12 / 267 35 over match

Team	Far from the MCC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	D. M. Edwards	b Reiss	0	(1)	-	-	1-0
2	M. T. Westmoreland *+	c Hussain b Stewart	41	(68)	3	-	2-98
3	I. Howarth	c sub (Reeves) b Stewart	49	(79)	5	-	3-98
4	R. P. Turner	not out	26	(24)	2	-	-
5	S. L. P. Dobner	c Pritchard b Stewart	0	(2)	-	-	4-99
6	J. W. Pearson	b Reiss	11	(19)	-	-	5-131
7	M. K. Reeves	run out	16	(18)	1	-	6-159
8	P. A. S. Mellor
9	D. Emerson
10	J. vdG. Webster
11	G. J. Timms
	Extras	(NB1, W5, LB2, B8)	16
	TOTAL	(for 6 wickets, 35 overs)	159

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Reiss	7	0	30	2
2	Webb	7	1	23	0
3	Pritchard	7	0	20	0
4	Eccleston	6	0	33	0
5	Stewart	2	0	9	3
6	Hussain	2	0	11	0
7	Hawkes	2	0	9	0
8	Norton	2	0	14	0

Team	Harwell CC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	R. Stewart	lbw b Emerson	10	(19)	1	-	1-15
2	A. Hussain	b Edwards	40	(49)	5	-	2-94
3	S. Hawkes	b Reeves	48	(89)	2	-	3-131
4	K. Norton	b Howarth	26	(44)	1	-	4-139
5	T. Read +	run out (Westmoreland)	3	(11)	-	-	5-140
6	P. Eccleston *	run out (Reeves/Westmoreland)	3	(5)	-	-	6-148
7	S. Pritchard	b Reeves	0	(2)	-	-	7-148
8	B. Reiss	not out	3	(2)	-	-	-
9	T. Webb
10
11
	Extras	(W12, B3)	15
	TOTAL	(for 7 wickets, 35 overs)	148

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Emerson	7	1	11	1
2	Timms	5	0	29	0
3	Webster	4	0	21	0
4	Dobner	7	0	25	0
5	Edwards	5	0	29	1
6	Reeves	4	0	23	2
7	Howarth	3	0	7	1
Note: Harwell only fielded 9 players for the match

MOTM: I. Howarth Champagne Moment: G. J. Timms hitting M. Westmoreland (keeping) with a bouncer Buffet Award: G. J. Timms and D. M. Edwards’ crab and mussel salad (with benefits)

Opposition: V069 / 01 Ground: G056 / 01 Captain: C011 / 68

Match Fines