“Billy Bats for The Bods as The Bods are Battered”

Match: 07 / 138

Won by 10 wkts

Team	Total
Bodleian	101
M. Westmoreland 2 - 11, D. Shorten 2 - 14
FFTMCC	102 - 0
I. Howarth 59*, M. Westmoreland 38*

There is reportedly a network of tunnels beneath the town of Oxford so cavernous and vast that, if one million librarians were to lie down head to toe, they still wouldn’t reach the labyrinth’s end. This rabbit warren of dark nooks and corners is reputed to house a copy of every book ever printed in the entire history of the solar system, as well as many of their authors, preserved in giant jars of alcohol and suspended from the ceilings in long macabre rows. This is the Bodleian Library, famous throughout the world, ninety-seven subterranean levels across six thousand acres, seventeen billion miles of corridor, ninety-six thousand flickering light bulbs, forty-four trillion books, seventy-nine thousand million academic journals, three billion tons of dust, twelve comic books, a stale sandwich in a paper bag, a pencil, a broken coffee machine, and an old woman with spidery hands and grey hair asleep at the front desk.

The Far from the MCC are thrilled to watch the grass grow.

It was from this gloomy and forbidding edifice that The MAD’s opponents issued on Sunday 3^rd June, between them their brains teeming with decades of accrued cricketing knowledge and lore. Winning the toss, the Bodleian batted in reverse alphabetical order from Yousaf through Mackinnon, then alphabetical to Shaw, then reverse to Clarke, then alphabetical to Hudson, then reverse to Ball, then alphabetical to Kauffman, then reverse to Ackland, then alphabetical down to Hotson at eleven, guesting from The MAD. But after all that, they could muster only 101 between them, a total which Howarth and Westmoreland of Far from The MCC knocked off in under 17 overs.

Baby Calypso was introduced to the wonders of grass also.

In truth this was a mismatch, and once the Bodleian’s dangerous Yousaf was dismissed by D. Shorten (7-4-14-2) for 10, caught handily by J. Hoskins at mid-off, the librarians were always up against it. Milner (18) did some damage until sharply taken by A. Mann at mid-on, but top-scorer for The Bodleian was The MAD’s own M. “Billy” Clarke, who took 30 off his own bowlers before hitting into the safe hands of N. Hebbes. Not for the first time, D. Shorten was pick of the bowlers with his sharp cutters, and M. Westmoreland (3-0-11-2) has discovered the handy knack of picking up wickets in the middle order with his consistent away swing. Hebbes (2-1-2-1), A. Small (4-0-24-1) and J. Harris (1-0-6-1) cleaned up the tail. T. Smith in the field looked like a flamenco dancer on acid, and several times caught his sunglasses when the ball would have been preferable.

The dual scoreboard was surrounded by loads of grass.

Batting, The MAD made light work of it on an easy pitch, and Bodleian heads soon dropped. I. Howarth (59 n.o.) led the way, ably backed up by M. Westmoreland, who made 38* on his own account, and the best of the Bodleian attack, skipper S. Ackland, bowled only three overs. The MAD’s Mickey “Billy” Clarke bowled another three, but couldn’t pick up the wicket which would have given him bragging rights for the next ten years. And then it was finished; a six over midwicket, then a single, and both sides strolled off to watch them playing some real cricket on the adjacent ground.

File this one under ‘convincing’.

‘Blocker’

*

Statto Scorecards

Far from the MCC versus Bodleian Played at Stratfield Brake, 3 June 2007 Bodleian won the toss and elected to bat Far from the MCC won by 10 wkts Far from the MCC debuts: none

07 / 138 35 over match

Team	Bodleian
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	D. Yousaf	c Hoskins b Shorten	10		1	-	1-20
2	A. F. Milner	c Mann b Small	18		1	-	4-55
3	A. J. MacKinnon	b Mann	5		1	-	2-27
4	J. A. Shaw	b Shorten	1		-	-	3-28
5	M. D. Clarke	c Hebbes b Westmoreland	30		3	-	5-81
6	A. J. Hudson	c Harris b Hoskins	11		-	-	6-83
7	E. A. Ball	b Westmoreland	5		-	-	7-89
8	M. R. Kauffmann	b Harris	4		-	-	8-90
9	S. G. Ackland *	run out (Howarth)	1		-	-	9-90
10	D. F. Busby	c and b Hebbes	6		1	-	10-101
11	J. C. W. Hotson	not out	1		-	-	-
	Extras	(NB1, W4, LB2, B2)	9
	TOTAL	(all out, 33.4 overs)	101

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Shorten	7	4	14	2
2	Mann	7	0	16	1
3	Small	4	0	24	1
4	Reeves	5	1	9	0
5	Hoskins	5	0	16	1
6	Westmoreland	3	0	11	2
7	Hebbes	2	1	2	1
8	Harris	1	0	6	1

Team	Far from the MCC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	I. Howarth *	not out	59	(45)	6	1	-
2	M. T. Westmoreland	not out	38	(53)	3	-	-
3	J. Harris
4	N. J. Hebbes
5	T. P. W. Smith
6	M. K. Reeves
7	M. Bullock +
8	D. Shorten
9	A. Small
10	J. D. Hoskins
11	A. G. Mann
	Extras	(NB1, W2, LB1, B1)	5
	TOTAL	(for 0 wicket, 16.1 overs)	102

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Milner	4	0	26	0
2	Ackland	3	0	10	0
3	Clarke	3	0	16	0
4	Shaw	4.1	0	31	0
5	Hudson	2	0	17	0

MOTM: I. Howarth Champagne Moment: J. Harris’ catch in the deep Buffet Award: A. Small’s lemon meringue tart (premium quality)

Opposition: V023 / 09 Ground: G032 / 01 Captain: C007 / 23

Match Fines