“MAD’s Pembroke Swansong Ends in Lopsided
Flogging”
Match: 07 / 149
Lost by 6 wkts
|
Team |
Total |
|
FFTMCC |
165 - 8 |
|
I.
Howarth 44, A. Mann
32 |
|
|
|
|
|
Testworth CC |
166 - 4 |
|
A.
Fisher 2 - 20 |
|
|
It is perhaps fitting that during The MAD’s game
against Tetsworth, two swans were seen flying over the ground, heading north.
It’s not known, however, if they were singing, or if swans do sing anyway. If
they did, the lyrics would most likely be in ‘swan’, and nobody could
understand them except other swans and Swan Whisperers, of which, as far as I
know, there aren’t any. But this was The MAD’s swansong, their last ever game
at Pembroke College Sports Ground, and as such it was also fitting that they
should get royally stuffed by the opposition in a manner rarely seen since
the bad old days when a good stuffing was always on the menu. Maybe they
weren’t swans after all. Maybe they were ducks.
“Dad – this
kept vanishing into the hedges when you guys bowled.” When Tetsworth turned up around 2 o’clock on the
Sunday, I was pretty surprised to see my postman among their number. At first
I thought he was doing a bit of overtime and had taken the time to deliver my
mail to me in person, but then I found out he was just a Tetsworth ringer.
The poor bastard spent the whole game fielding on the boundary, not getting a
bowl, then he didn’t get a bat either. Don’t expect he’ll be playing for them
again, somehow. It was that sort of game, really. Swans, postmen, Kev tinkering
with an Airfix model in the kitchen, saying how much hates cricket, The MAD
getting stuffed as though they were playing the Lemmings in 2001. You too
could be forgiven for hating cricket after a hiding like this, but really it
was more funny than depressing, except for the depressing bits.
H. Shallow
(keeping) can also keep in addition to averaging 100+ with the bat. Despite that, it was a game of records. A. Mann (32)
shouldered some responsibility, and along with I. Howarth (44) put on 93 for
the first wicket. It was a record opening stand at Pembroke. For a change
Mann almost looked like he did vaguely know how to bat, and in his last game
of the summer, Howarth capped a great year, once again showing why he is The
MAD’s premier batsman this season. With both openers gone, J. Hotson (3) did
his bit to slow the run rate down until he got out (and break the only decent
bat the club owned), and N. Hebbes (5) did his bit to speed it up, but you
could tell by the way the Tetsworth West Indians were bowling off half a pace
that anything The MAD scored was never going to be enough, even if it was
723. Which it wasn’t. T. Smith (20) went off like a cracker as usual,
smashing a few boundaries and a squirrel, and M. Clarke (16) chipped in, but
165-8 looked low. G. Carter and J. Hoskins had added to their collection of
wading birds, while A. Fisher (6 n.o.) and M. Bullock (5 n.o.) took what they
could from the last few balls.
“Easy! Easy!
Easy!” 165 looked even lower after A. Mann’s first over went
for 12. He got a fairly lucky wicket and a right tonking (4-0-30-1) but was
relatively economical, and that says it all. Tetsworth’s R. Wright (122),
playing with his eyes shut and one hand tied behind his leg, showed the kind
of boredom while smashing his century that is rarely seen at this level. A.
Small (4-0-34-0) bowled well but still got tonked, and Hoskins (3-0-34-0)
achieved an equivalent tonking, though in six less deliveries. M. Bullock was
out-tonked by everyone, and in conceding 0-38 from 2 overs, broke a record of
a different kind. A. Fisher came on looking to be uber-tonked, but despite a
promising first over of sausage rolls and jam tarts, his natural instincts
were betrayed by the Mystery of Pie. A flan and a donut took two quick
wickets, and his 2-20 showed that the Way of Pie is no respecter of
reputations. The Pie will triumph, as many have prophesied. By the time H.
Shallow came to the crease in the 18th over to hit the last two balls of the
game for discouragingly non-aerial boundaries, The MAD were all glad that he
hadn’t come in earlier. Apparently he can bat a bit, this guy. And my postman
wasn’t even padded up. Pembroke, Pembroke, Pembroke. No more shall we see your
blah blah blah etc etc. Nice ground, shame about the footbridge….
The final
team photo taken from Pembroke…. (sniff) ‘Blocker’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Tetsworth CC Played at Pembroke College, 2
September 2007 Far from the MCC won the toss and elected to bat Tetsworth CC won
by 6 wkts Far from the MCC debuts: none |
07 / 149 35 over match |
|
Team |
Far from
the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
I. Howarth * |
b Huish |
44 |
(53) |
7 |
- |
2-95 |
|
2 |
A. G. Mann |
c R. Isaac b Reed |
32 |
(51) |
4 |
- |
1-93 |
|
3 |
J. C. W. Hotson |
b Cann |
3 |
(23) |
- |
- |
3-111 |
|
4 |
N. J. Hebbes |
run out |
5 |
(16) |
- |
- |
4-113 |
|
5 |
T. P. W. Smith |
st Shallow b Wright |
20 |
(24) |
4 |
- |
5-141 |
|
6 |
M. D. Clarke |
c C. Isaac b Wright |
16 |
(28) |
3 |
- |
6-154 |
|
7 |
G. Carter + |
b Wright |
0 |
(5) |
- |
- |
8-160 |
|
8 |
J. D. Hoskins |
c and b Rock |
0 |
(3) |
- |
- |
7-154 |
|
9 |
A. J. Fisher |
not out |
6 |
(7) |
1 |
- |
- |
|
10 |
M. Bullock |
not out |
5 |
(2) |
1 |
- |
- |
|
11 |
A. Small |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(NB2, W27, B5) |
34 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 8 wickets, 35 overs) |
165 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Browne |
5 |
0 |
28 |
0 |
|
|
2 |
C. Isaac |
5 |
1 |
9 |
0 |
|
|
3 |
Huish |
5 |
0 |
34 |
1 |
|
|
4 |
Reed |
5 |
0 |
25 |
1 |
|
|
5 |
Southey |
5 |
1 |
14 |
0 |
|
|
6 |
Cann |
4 |
0 |
23 |
1 |
|
|
7 |
Rock |
3 |
1 |
6 |
1 |
|
|
8 |
Wright |
3 |
0 |
22 |
3 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note: Wicketkeeping duties
were shared between R. Wright and H. Shallow |
|
|||||
|
Team |
Tetsworth
CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
R. Wright + |
st Carter b Fisher |
122 |
|
12 |
7 |
2-153 |
|
2 |
J. Reed |
c Hoskins b Mann |
4 |
|
1 |
- |
1-19 |
|
3 |
R. Isaac |
b Smith |
21 |
|
3 |
- |
4-154 |
|
4 |
A. Huish |
st Carter b Fisher |
0 |
|
- |
- |
3-154 |
|
5 |
S. Southey |
not out |
8 |
|
1 |
- |
- |
|
6 |
H. Shallow *+ |
not out |
8 |
|
2 |
- |
- |
|
7 |
C. Isaac |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
K. Browne |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
Cann |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
R. Rock |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(W1, LB2) |
3 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 4 wickets, 17.1 overs) |
166 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Mann |
4 |
0 |
30 |
1 |
|
|
2 |
Small |
4 |
0 |
34 |
0 |
|
|
3 |
Hoskins |
3 |
0 |
34 |
0 |
|
|
4 |
Bullock |
2 |
0 |
38 |
0 |
|
|
5 |
Fisher |
2.1 |
0 |
20 |
2 |
|
|
6 |
Smith |
2 |
0 |
13 |
1 |
|
|
MOTM: A. G. Mann Champagne Moment: Groundman Kev being
awarded a bottle of champagne Buffet
Award: M. Bullock’s treacle tarts |
Opposition:
V045 / 01 Ground: G011 / 50 Captain: C007 / 32 |