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“2024 AGM Report”
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After Spam finally sent out some comms regarding
the venue, The MAD assembled once more atop the St Aldates in the Blue Room
for the annual AGM piss-up. It would have a distinctly Xmas flavour due to
the date (30th of November) with an abundance of festive decor in and outside
the venue. We would have a new photo of said establishment to put here, but
nobody took one… so here is a pic from inside instead….
The Blue Room is
on the first floor…. Without further ado,
herewith the scribbles from the evening for season 2024 … or at least the
ones that were vaguely readable on a crumpled, cider-stained piece of paper…. ‘Formerly T20 Skipper’
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Part I -
Notes on attendance Apologies for absence: Giant
Duck (trapped
in a Honda Jazz) Tony
Mander James
Pearson (last minute paperwork at the office) Corne
Vermaak (lost
in Hungerford again)
Present: Blake
Ainsworth (Lowers
Age of Team) Lee
Ainsworth (Moaning
Expert) Paul
Bagot (Debut AGMer) Matt
Bullock (Chairman,
Statto & Drinking Expert) Geoff
Carter (Sporting
Director) Joe
Cartwright (Life
Guru & Wisdom) Andrew
Darley (First
Aider & Medical Expert) Richard
Hadfield (Fugitive
& Infamous Killer) John
Harris (7-5) James
Hoskins (Fantasy
Man) Jake
Hotson (Part-Time
Tour Director) Ian
Howarth (Fixtures
Secretary, co T20 Skipper & Pissed Minutes) John
Pyrah (Debut AGMer) Mike
Reeves (Treasurer
& Club Gopher) Chris
Roberts (Darts
Expert) Mark
Rundle (Formerly
Alive) David
Shorten (Builder
Extraordinaire) Gary
Timms (co T20
Skipper & Club Gopher) Russell
Turner (Regular
Skipper & Club Gopher) Jan
Webster (Published
Author & Abstract Visionary) Chris
Williams (Guitar
& Accompaniment) |
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Part II - Chairman’s Welcome Matt was quick to commence
the evening by saying “Welcome.” He also made a point of saying that this was
officially The MAD’s 25th AGM, as there wasn’t one in the club’s inaugural
season of 1998, and neither was there one during the pandemic in 2020. He also said a good few other
things which weren’t recorded, but did thank all that participated and for
helping to keep The MAD bandwagon rolling. We can just rest assured it was a
most assured speech and was bang on point from someone who has always been
our Chairdude and probably always will be.
Chair Bullock is flanked by a guy having a stroke and an extremely
shocked Pyrah…. |
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Part III – Captain(s) Report Spam and Timms (T20) said
bugger all in general and so it was left to Russ take centre stage and
entertain the gathering with his musings and observations of the season gone
by (as is his want). Captain Turner read from a
script as long as ‘Lord of the Rings’, by firstly thanking Mike / Kate for once
again providing the teas as they have for several years. It does take a lot
of time and effort, and especially on the occasions when Mike didn’t even
play.
Mr Turner delivering a whimsical speech to those
in attendance…. His script was voluminous and
if you want the full transcript, you can contact him directly or (shock
horror) make sure you attend the event itself in future. Russ would open up as follows…. Opening up…. “Thanks to everyone for being
part of MAD 2024, I hope you enjoyed the season. To JMO for Fantasy & the
Tour Prediction Competition. Spam for the Fixtures (always challenging). Mike
for the Bean Counting, and our “Statto” Chairman Matt for reminding us how
well / bad we performed. Mike / Kate thanks again
providing the teas. With his move to Nottingham will we get “Notts Forest
Gateau” next season? I’ve researched Nottingham and it has Purple Flag status
which means diversity, value, entertainment and safety. So, if Mike becomes a
bit different, he’s reasonably priced in Fantasy, continues to show us what
he can do on the field and looks after the club funds we can shove a purple
flag up his arse at the end of next season.” So, what happened in 2024? [edit minus game by game reviews as you can
read the reports/rambles on this website] “I’ve named this “The
Wheelchair Season” as it was the season where batsman did not walk after
being caught behind – Jake & I had 2 a-piece (W&B, Mandarins,
Nettlebed & Porlock the culprits), the worst being Porlock where the guy actually
admitted to Jake he had hit it…. We welcomed John Pyrah to the
Club although Spam initially kept referring to him as Tom. He did avoid a
“Duck on Debut”, and I knew he would fit in as he answered his availability v
Long Compton which had already been played (instead of Isis)....
Darley answered his
availability v Enstone in July via one of Mikes’ Financial updates from
May.... I also had a couple of odd
replies for Lemmings: · Pearson
– I might be a yes for this one. · Jan
– I think I can make this one. Lucan showed he can’t read an
email properly after Islip cancelled. What he didn’t read was “a new
opposition is being found.” Instead, he jumped ship like the captain of the
Titanic and laid his cricket bag in The Bodleian’s Pavilion.
Here we find Lucan batting for the correct team. We welcomed back Australia’s
MAD adopted son “Digger” even though most of us struggled to recognise him (mullet). Newcomers Long Compton took
Cholsey’s crown for the hottest showers and Nettlebed replaced Astons for the
coldest. Geoff’s catch v W&B in
August was his 1st since Aldworth in 2021, much to Spam’s utter disgust after
he dropped an earlier sitter off his bowling. A curious stat is W&B
& Enstone being the only 2 teams who batted their 6 bowlers at 6-11. It wasn’t until our 21st game
of the season v Ewelme that The MAD were officially “All Out.”
But what did we forget this year? “It began almost a year ago
to the day at last year’s AGM that Psycho forgot to take his POTS Trophy
home. He won’t need worry about that this year! Spam forgot Psycho and I had
recent heart ops and duly organised a so called 3-hour non-pub, pub-crawl
route march over the Minehead Cliffs. We eventually ended up in the Quay Inn where
JMO then created his own unforgettable version of the Watergate scandal....
(see report/ramble from that day). I played my “Mike’s Outlaws”
Fantasy Joker which had Mike as my all-rounder v Wantage, but forgot he
wasn’t playing! JMO left his shorts on the
ground at Queens with £200 horse winnings in the back pocket. I took them
home, put the money in a safe place only for Jacqui to wash/iron them &
put the money back in the pocket without telling me (so I thought she had used
it!) Spam carried on forgetting
how to catch. Finally, something Gary still
hasn’t forgotten about after 8 years and brought to everyone’s attention
recently, is taking 38 wickets in 2016 and not winning POTS. Gary let it go
you’re a Darts / Pétanque expert now. Incidentally JMO took 38 in 2011 &
didn’t win POTS either!" So, how did we do (excluding Tour)? P24 W6 L18 NR4 – Win Ratio
25.93% Lee most successful winning skipper
with 100% (1 from 1) Most MAD Appearances (excluding Tour) Me 24/24, Lego 20, Psycho &
Gary 19
Milestone Men … Timms and Bean Counter. Notable Milestones: JP & Russ became the 2nd
& 3rd batsmen to achieve 4000 runs for the MAD. They are now only 5000
behind Spam Spam has now achieved 2000
Runs in T20s Mike’s 8 wickets took him
over 300 wickets for The MAD Lego – his 13 wickets took
him over the 200 wickets for The MAD Gary – 1st to 100 T20
wickets but whisper it quietly MAD Little Star Award: This year Russ presented an
additional award the “MAD Little Star Award”. This new trophy was for someone
who comes to games but never plays, he also came on Tour to Minehead. He’s
rarely seen without his rucksack full of goodies or his “Dirty” Leeds
football (shame on you Lee), but I’m sure you’ll agree when he’s around he
makes us all feel a lot younger – Blake Ainsworth.
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Part IV - Treasurer’s Report Mike Reeves’ was big on
pessimism this year, sounding Starmer-esque he
informed the attendees the club had made losses and needs to balance the
books. Amongst the proposed tax rises, subs are probably going up, playing
fees are probably going up and anything which can be taxed probably will be
going up.
Some blurb…. “Bottom line is that the club
lost (spent) around £900 this year. This was through a combination of under
charging people for Tour by around £250 (or £400 if you count the fact that
we got charged by our hosts £150 which I didn’t pass on). Also, I was lenient on Jake
and Bob for a good portion of the season, including under charging Bob for Tour
seeing that he had to get himself home sick halfway through. There’s also the
£250 to Dan and the fact that some stuff has just got a bit more expensive,
like insurance and the going rate for teas is now £55 - £60.” A list of MAD players was
circulated post-event and most of everyone was more or less
in credit for once. |
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Part V - Fixtures and Tour for 2025 After last year’s leftfield
fixtures wordsearch, Fixture Secretary Spam this time did a bullshit
PowerPoint presentation where some of the abundant lies was actually fiction. Those to guess the correct number of
truthful fixtures could win a Howzat cricket shirt (West Indies v England
2019 as per the previous year), following a successful Top Trump card draw to
separate the few that were right. Clear as mud, right?
How many of these shirts does Spam have…? Russ would expand on
fixtures with some news of the Tour itinerary to a return to Minehead in 2025.
This would involve the beautiful train trip to Stogumber and a march to
Minehead CC on the Thursday/Friday, followed by a Sunday match against
Timberscombe before heading back home. Dates of Tour for all those interested
are July 31 to August 3 and you will need to find your own accommodation. |
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Part VI - Committee Member Elections Once upon a time, the election of MAD officers was a
popular and hugely exciting part of the evening, but now under a strict
dictatorship, nobody really stands against anyone in a position of power
unless they can afford an attorney and/or they are pissed. Thankfully David
Shorten knows a Queen’s counsel and thankfully Gary was pissed….
Elected Committee Posts Chairman Matt Bullock - continues in his role and
is duly elected, unopposed. Fixtures
Secretary Ian Howarth - continues in his role and
is duly elected, unopposed. Treasurer Mike Reeves - continues in his role and
is duly elected, unopposed. Captain Russ Turner - continues in his role and
is duly elected, unopposed. T20
Captain David Shorten - elected to the role,
unopposed (Howarth and Timms step aside). Vice
Captain(s) Russ, Ian, Gary, Lee, Jake and “somebody else” will step
in if the team are short…. - continual. Sporting
Director Gary Timms - elected to the role, beats
Geoff (8 votes) and Spam (0 votes) Tour
Director Jake Hotson (ably assisted by Russ Turner for
Somerset) - continues in his role, both
ratified and duly elected, unopposed. * Non-Committee Posts Fines
Chairman(s) Captain’s Choice - the role will be assigned
by the Skipper if he feels there is a need for fines to be levied. |
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Part VII - General Administration for Season 2025 Nothing much to report here
with Brasenose College continuing as our home cricket ground when available
and Gosford Community Centre in Kidlington providing indoor facilities for
nets. Russ has confirmed that nets are to run from Sunday, March 23 and
complete a fortnight before the season opener as outlined below….
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Part VIII - FFTMCC Awards After yet another sizeable
delay for idle banter, trips to and from the toilet and the bar downstairs…
votes were tallied and summed, and the dubious winners of the various MAD
trophies and awards were announced as follows…
Mr Harris receives his POTS 2024 award.…
Roll of MAD Honours Player
of the Season John Harris Most
Improved Player Russ Turner Clubman
of the Year Russ Turner MAD
Fantasy Cricket Russ Turner Manager ‘Russ’ … Team ‘My
Heart Will Go On’ Champagne
Moment Mike Reeves Amazing diving catch to dismiss Keith Whiter (v Islip CC #629) MAD
Booker Prize Jan Webster “We Have All The Time in The
World” (v Isis CC #634) MAD
Moment Andrew Darley Completely losing his shit
and throwing a nuclear cob and apparel
(v Ferring CC #621) ‘Adrian
Fisher’ Performance Trophy Mike Reeves & Joe Cartwright Superb 6th wicket partnership against old
adversary to bring the team home (v Islip CC #629)
Joe Cartwright and Mr Reeves receiving
their ‘Performance’ award for that superb winning partnership v Isis…. |
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Part IX – Fantasy Stuff Mr Hoskins, a most treasured
member of the club, went one better than last year and actually
bothered to turn up on this occasion to announce ‘The MAD Fantasy’
winner. Calculated using an advanced algorithm and utilising several pivot
tables, a sundial and a random multiplier generator….
Skipper Turner receives his Trophy
after fixing the outcome. |
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Part X - Any Other Business With the evening and venue
being declared a triumphant sporting success, Mr Hadfield gifted his take on
“art” to some administrative MAD hands, before players said their goodbyes,
drank some more and disappeared off into the night….
BUT… of course, The MAD being
The MAD, there is always something
that goes awry (or forgotten), and that was to suddenly remember the
time-honoured tradition of re-enactments for the shortlisted Champagne and
MAD Moments from the season. Cue the idiocy….
Here’s
to a tremendous MAD season in 2025 and whatever joys and moaning it brings. |
