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Exhibition of Batting Incompetence

Seasons 2021 - 2023

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An online page totally devoted to the exhibition, celebration and educational interpretation of classical batting incompetence, as performed and executed by members of the Far from the MCC. Please note there have been countless other examples since the team’s inception back in 1998, but alas a camera wasn’t present to record the event(s).

Many thanks to all the photographic contributions over the years, in particular James Hoskins, who set the benchmark in the middle noughties by mortgaging his house for a zoom lens and hifalutin Nikon. Other luminaires would be Chairman Bullock (one remembers the early Minehead Tours) and of course Mr Howarth, whose investment in a Canon reaped dividends in lieu of his dwindling time out in the middle. Lest we forget Mr Hotson’s analogue work at Garsington and Mr Williams’ modern day claims to be sports photographer of high repute.

All art pieces therein are named and displayed in chronological order, which leaves us to say…. Enjoy!

The Lockdown

- M. K. Reeves, Memorial Recreation Ground v Ascott-under-Wychwood CC. 2021

After a brutal winter lockdown following a brutal pandemic, Mike checks for any naughty Covid particles to bash with his bat. Meanwhile, the bowler aims a delivery at his stumps… oh.

The Pathetic Dab

- C. T. J. Williams, Cublington v Cublington CC. 2021

There is no foot movement recorded whatsoever as Williams plays this gentle (removes other less subtle descriptive) little dab outside off, only to… oh. Mr Hoskins is now considering suing for infringement of copyright….

The Reverse of a Good Reverse Sweep.

- R. P. Turner, Queens College v Isis CC. 2021

We’re unsure as to whether Russ had ever attempted a reverse sweep in his life, but if he has (or did) we doubt it would be quite as bad as this example of how not play one. Or to put it into proper context: this is the perfect imperfect reverse sweep.

Bobby’s Floating Bail Syndrome

- C. D. Roberts, Queens College v Isis CC. 2021

Queens College is notorious for extremes of low gravity and here we see the bails float away from the stumps as Bobby crashes one through square… oh

Comprehensively NOT OUT

- J. D. Hoskins, Queens College v Isis CC. 2021

James went on to publish his Fantasy Cricket update a few days after his 0 not out at the death of The MAD innings. It was only when studying the aforementioned scorecards he found his undefeated blob had been downgraded to a duck. He was sure he was not out, and in fact boasted as such as he left the field of play. We quickly checked some camera footage and… oh.

Pink Death

- A. Darley, Middleton Park v Middleton Stoney CC. 2021

Brought up on a diet of red ball cricket, here Mr Darley cries foul as some unscrupulous member of the opposition uses a bright pink ball to bowl with instead. This is certainly not cricket and will be reported to the higher echelons of hoot toot midweek slogathons….

Unbreakable

- J. Harris, Cumnor v Cumnor SAS. 2021

The one attribute a solid, technically secure MAD batting line-up have, is a resolute defence. An impregnable fortress around their timber than causes opposition bowlers unending frustration. Here, gifted all rounder John harris … oh.

Being The MAD

- B. R. Eade, Cumnor v Cumnor SAS. 2021

No man or woman can ever lay claim to being a true MAD player unless they find themselves enshrined in this most hallowed section of the Club website. It is a rite of passage immortalised by all. Recent acquisition, and former Marlborough House stalwart Brian Eade, wasted little time in joining the elite. We salute you, sir.

The Imposter

- J. vdG. Webster, Memorial Playing Field v Ascott-under-Wychwood CC. 2022

Jan has always prided himself on never appearing in the EBI section of the website, apart from when he does. He is convinced he has never ever been caught on camera making a right dog’s dinner of things. Just like in 2020 v OUCCC when he was MR. ANGRY but declared the chap in said photo was an imposter. Well, the same imposter appears above. Most odd.

Being in Brighton

- D. Shorten, Queens College Sports Ground v Headington Quarry CC. 2022

There is a weight of photo stock which details David’s epic slog at Brighton in 2021, whereby our favourite builder played the same shot two dozen times and hit the ball miles over cow corner towards the white cliffs of Dover. It was truly epic. Here, he demonstrates the same shot back in Oxford at Queens College… oh.

Just Like Lords

- G. J. Timms, Brasenose College Sports Ground v Lemmings. 2022

They say there is considerable prestige attached to registering a ton at Lords, and having your name inscribed on the famous Honours board. The MAD do not play at Lords, nor do they score many tons, but we do have a EBI Honours board of sorts (well, a webpage actually) and to register a sublime effort at our de facto home (read Brasenose), then that is almost as good. Well played, Gareth – a truly superb show.

The King Returns

- C. D. Roberts, Brasenose College Sports Ground v OUP. 2022

He might have been away for some time, licking his head wound, but there can be no doubting that Tall Bob is “The King” when it comes to a good old-fashioned EBI. His beautiful work has been laid bare for over a decade, and there have been many imitations over the years, but you just know when something is authentic … a “Roberts Masterpiece” per se. These glorious works of art are now fetching silly money on eBay, and soon our unassuming hero can afford to retire.

Hero to Zero

- A. Darley, Brasenose College Sports Ground v OUP. 2022

Who can forget Mr. Darley’s first MAD fifty in a dozen years? Another cerebral tonk of 52, to remind one and all that when Andy gets it right, he can actually bat and bang it a very long way! And what better way to celebrate reaching this milestone once again, than heaving across the line at your next delivery and appearing on this internet wall space? #LEGEND

The Finisher

- M. K. Reeves, Brasenose College Sports Ground v Ipsden. 2022

Mr Reeves has enjoyed his moniker as “The Finisher” for a good few years now. He’s your typical lower order batter who, on his day, can bat … and bat extremely well. He just gets into that groove and everything seems to just ping out the middle of his bat, as he unfurls those trademark backfoot drives of his. Oh…

The Invisible Ball

- J. Harris, Brasenose College Sports Ground v Ipsden. 2022

Recently Mr Harris has made more a concerted effort to have his artwork stuck up with other masterpieces among this stellar collection, but here there is a touch of the paranormal at play. John thinks he saw something, and even moved his bat in that direction to ward off whatever it was, a spirit or something. But, as we all know, ghosts can simply pass through solid objects … just not stumps!? Well spooky….

Suez

- D. R. Shaw, Aston Tirrold v Astons CC. 2022

In this example, we see young Mr Shaw studious in defence, but leaving a gap between bat and pad similar to the width of the Suez Canal. The good news for Daniel is that he will get a thousand times better, the bad news for everybody else in the team as that they will only get a thousand times worse [with age].

The 9-iron

- M. K. Reeves, Aston Tirrold v Astons CC. 2022

No stranger to this gallery, here we find Mike practicing his golf swing at the 6th. Actually, this is cricket, and he is batting at #6 and clearly way above his natural position in the order. Oops.

The Village Hoik

- D. Shorten, Enstone v Enstone CC. 2023

Hardly any words required for this postcard perfect slice of English Village Cricket. Here we find local builder, David Shorten, trying to muscle a straight delivery over an adjacent car park and into a potato field. And why wouldn’t you?

The Compact Disc

- A. Darley, Enstone v Enstone CC. 2023

After famously having a cricketing coach pick about the layers of his fragile mind, here Andrew forgets about that tutelage and tries out some bat dancing whilst grooving to a CD placed behind the stumps.

Pooley’s Disgust

- C. D. Roberts, Cassington v Wootton & Bladon CC. 2023

Here we find Steve Poole being very unimpressed by Tall Bob’s foot movement. In fact, here we find Steve Poole being very unimpressed with Tall Bob’s lack of any foot movement. In fact, this second comment is factually more correct than the first fact.

Crouchville

- R. P. Turner, v Battisford & District CC. Moats Tye, Suffolk. 2023

Certainly, one of the more curious exhibits, here we find the keeper and Mr Turner both crouching down to admire the right bail hopping off the stumps. Maybe you get much better view down there?

Shock and Awe

- G. J. Timms, v Battisford & District CC. Moats Tye, Suffolk. 2023

Following on from the above exhibit (Crouchville), here again we find someone crouching on the floor – this time it’s gully fielder and skipper H Ruffle, who whilst certainly being in awe of the dismissal, most probably wasn’t particularly shocked. Neither were the rest of the team to be honest.

The Leveller

- M. K. Reeves, Cholsey Meadows v Cholsey CC. 2023

In this lovely snapshot, we can see how keeping your eye on the ball most definitely pays dividends when going on the attack. In a split second, Mr Reeves has already analysed the ball’s trajectory and deemed it worth despatching in the hedgerows towards Ipsden. Alas, Mike is the only person in the ground looking in that direction moments later….