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“2010 AGM Report”

The Royal Oak pub on Woodstock Road once again provided the backdrop for The MAD’s end of season Annual General Meeting. A backroom within the pub was cordoned off for the team, much like a zoo would make special arrangements for some of its unruly animals.

Mike Reeves faces up to another trophyless season.

This year’s event was the best attended in living memory, but only because most of the team have developed short term memories through alcoholic addictions. Herewith the notes from the meeting below – or at least the ones I managed to scribble down whilst juggling the responsibilities of getting pissed, spilling my drinks and speaking out of turn….

‘M. Inutes’

Part I – Notes on attendance

Apologies for absence:

Steve Dobner (dogging in Essex somewhere)

Adie Fisher

Ben Mander

Antony Mann (refused the to pay for a return trip from Sydney, Australia)

Gary Littlechild (see Dobner for details)

Steve Parkinson (another lame excuse)

Present:

Matt Bullock (Chairman)

Andrew Darley

Dan Edwards (Social Secretary)

Dave Emerson (Social Secretary)

Nick Hebbes (Director of Cricket)

Ian Howarth (Fixtures Secretary, minutes)

Jake Hotson (Social Secretary)

James Hoskins (Ground Secretary)

Ian Leggate (Fines Chairman, Social Secretary)

Tony Mander

Patrick Mellor

James Pearson

Mike Reeves (Treasurer, Vice Captain)

Chris Roberts

Dave Shorten

Thornton Smith

Gareth Timms

Martin Westmoreland (Captain)

Part II – Chairman’s Welcome

Doc and Mr. Smith analyse the Chairman’s blurb.

The Chairman began by calling order after the team had finally prised themselves away from the bar. He then began and ended his opening speech with “welcome”. To the point, and without a single wasted adjective.

Part III – Captain’s Report

After his second season in charge of the disparate Far from the MCC, Martin began by thanking the team and informing them what a pleasure it was to lead them into battle. The additional grey hairs on his head were testament to this.

Martin gets his grubby hands on the silverware.

In an exciting finale, the team missed out on a winning season (percentage wise) by the small matter of 1 solitary run after tying their final game against Astons CC. With Martin keen to stand as MAD Skipper again for 2011, he ended with speech with a few notable items….

Moo Bits:

Mike Reeves coming of age with the bat with his knock of 85.

Ian Howarth underlining his batting idiocy by being caught on the boundary for 99.

Dave Emerson’s wonderful hat-trick.

Part IV – Treasurer’s Report

In his first season as Treasurer, Mr M. Reeves supplied the team with more numerical data than their tiny brains could hope to cope with. In breaking it down into manageable chunks, the club as a whole made a £195 profit for the season which bucked against the current ailing economy.

“Five plus four equals nine. Six minus two equals four. Etc etc you dumb bastards!”

Mike made mention of Ian Leggate’s fine efforts as Fines Chairman – a role in which a brutal £511 were raised, even though his notes thereof were largely lost in time. Subs and match fees are to remain static, although emphasis was placed on the team to sponsor all the matches next year – particularly those individuals in full-time employment. It is also hoped the club can secure pub sponsorship too – wherever that home pub might be….

The team are aware that costs of ground hire next year may rise.

Part V – Season 2011

Moving forward, Fixtures Secretary Ian Howarth, produced a sheet of paper detailing the near-complete list of fixtures for the following term. Mentions were made that contact had not yet been made with the groundsman (Dan) at Brasenose, but this is not expected to be a problem and that the team’s final fixture of 2011 – on 9/11 – was to be contested against Tetsworth CC – scene of the worst cricketing carnage in MAD history (chortle).

Dan admires Ian’s arse as the latter juggles his roles of Fixtures Dude and alcoholic.

A home pub needs to be identified for 2011 in the hope of netting the Club some sponsorship. The size of The MAD’s playing staff is considered to be optimum, and thus they are currently not seeking any new cricketers. Enthusiastic hopefuls will be kept on file by the Skipper, in the unlikely event of the team being short on any particular evening or weekend.

With regards Tour in 2011, James Hoskins has agreed to stay in his role of Tour Organiser – and his decision to take the team to the coastal region of Minehead once again was met with unanimous applause. The MAD have many fond memories of the area. James was also thanked for his sterling efforts in organising the trip to Sidmouth this term.

Part VI – Umpiring / Dissent

The Chairman makes an impassioned plea for a greater degree of respect and understanding for umpires and umpiring in general. 2010 plumbed the depths for shows of contempt and bitching after certain controversial dismissals. It is now expected of the team to demonstrate a much improved decorum on the field in 2011 – particularly when batting.

A newly established £5.00 fine is to be levied on anyone showing dissent at the wicket. This was ratified by the Fines Chairman. Players are thus expected to keep their emotions in check or at the very least until they have left the field of play and disappeared to the sanctuary of the changing rooms.

Part VII – Committee Member Elections

Always a very popular part of the evening – voting for Committee positions that were as always up for re-election. The following results were realised after all hands were counted….

Dave Emerson – making a case for his new role as the Director of Cricket.

Elected Committee Posts

Chairman

Matt Bullock

- wishes to continue as Chairman, no contenders.

Fixtures Secretary

Ian Howarth

- continues in the position, unopposed.

Treasurer

Mike Reeves

- continues in his role and is duly elected, unopposed.

Captain

Martin Westmoreland

- continues as Skipper, fending off competition from Ian Leggate (landslide vote).

Vice Captain(s)

Steve Dobner and Jake Hotson

- continues as Vice Skipper, with Mike Reeves resigning.

Jake Hotson became the 2nd Vice Skipper, fending off T. Smith, I. Leggate, P. Mellor, G. Timms and D. Edwards.

Director of Cricket

Dave Emerson

- elected to the role, beating off former incumbent Nick Hebbes.

Director of Overseas Development

Nick Hebbes

- fills this newly created position in an effort to retain his Membership of the Committee.

*

Non-Committee Posts

Tour Organiser

James Hoskins

- is sworn in once again as the Tour Organiser, unopposed.

Fines Chairman

Ian Leggate

- continues in his position, with Thornton Smith opposing him. Ian wins the vote for another term.

Social Secretary

Andrew Darley

- elected unopposed, after all three incumbent Secretary’s resign as one (Messrs Leggate, Edwards and Emerson).

Part VIII – FFTMCC Awards

Whilst the congregation got progressively pissed, the standard suite of MAD awards and trophies were voted upon. Listed below are the dubious winners as announced….

More Trophies than the Generation Game….

Roll of MAD Honours

Player Of The Season

Martin Westmoreland

Most Improved Player

Jake Hotson

Effort

Martin Westmoreland

Champagne Moment

Dave Emerson

- the wonderful hat-trick ball (v Cholsey CC #209)

James’ Mad Fantasy Cricket

Thornton Smith

Jenner ‘hogs’ the lesser awards….

Humorous and Lesser Miscellaneous Awards

Buffet Award

Ian Leggate

Instances of Champagne

Ian Howarth

Most Ducks

Ian Leggate (5)

Most Valuable Fantasy Player

Martin Westmoreland

Run out Specialist(s)

Dave Emerson and Jake Hotson (2)

Best Strike Rate (Batting)

Jenner Collins (127.50)

Slowest Strike Rate (Batting)

Nick Hebbes (50.13)

Hogging The Match

Jenner Collins

- scooped MOTM, Champagne and Buffet (v Blenheim Park CC #212)

Part IX – Any Other Business

Andrew Darley and Dave Emerson have promised to look into arranging nets for The MAD. Wallingford School has been muted as it now has a bowling machine. It is also been agreed that nets are to run for 4-6 weeks. Previous seasons have been drawn out with numbers dwindling after the first few weeks.

Martin declares there has been significant interest in club baggies and he’ll look into ordering some for the new year (pending costs etc). Matt is applauded for his always captivating statistics.

P. Mellor (KFC) disproves the myth he can only eat with his fingers.

The AGM then came to an abrupt conclusion due to players requiring more beer, so this particular item on the agenda was once again more or less ignored. Here’s to a successful 2011!!!