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“2011 AGM Report

 

 

 

Due to the club deciding that two piss-ups were better than one, the 2011 MAD AGM was brought forward to the month of October this year to allow a later booze cruise in December. Yo ho ho!

 

 

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Father Xmas and his big bag of MAD shit.

 

 

This year’s event followed club pieman Ade Fisher to the Fir Tree on Iffley Road, and despite its cramped facilities, the evening was a huge success thanks to the participants and their generosity during Jake’s auction of ageing, and largely shit, club kit. In total, £174.50 was raised.

 

Without further ado, herewith the notes from the AGM – or at least the ones that made it onto some form of paper not ruined by spilt beer and spirits….

 

 

‘M. Inutes’

 

 

 

 

 

Part I – Notes on attendance

 

Apologies for absence:

 

Steve Dobner  (emailed about not turning up)

Richard Hadfield

Ben Mander

Tony Mander

Steve Parkinson

Dave Shorten  (talked about turning up, but then didn’t)

 

 

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A 100% turn out of women players to have played this season.

 

 

Present:

 

Matt Bullock  (Chairman)

Andrew Darley  (Social Secretary)

Duck

Dan Edwards

Dave Emerson  (Director of Cricket)

Ade Fisher

Nick Hebbes  (Director of Overseas Development)

James Hoskins  (Fantasy Chairman, Dogsbody)

Jake Hotson  (T20 Captain, Auctioneer)

Ian Howarth  (Fixtures Secretary, Minutes)

Ian Leggate  (Fines Chairman)

Patrick Mellor

James Pearson

Mike Reeves  (Treasurer)

Chris Roberts

Thornton Smith

Sandra Steinhauer

Gary Timms

Martin Westmoreland  (Captain)

 

 

 

 

Part II – Chairman’s Welcome

 

 

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Chairman Matt (right) looks for divine intervention….

 

 

After calling for order following a drinks break to the pre-AGM drink, the Chairman thanked the team for continuing to play with an excellent “MAD” spirit during a sometimes difficult season. The character of the team had shone through and there were many notable successes to offset the mind-numbing failures – of which there were plenty….

 

He also went into some other stuff and some statistics but none were recorded, so apologies for that.

 

 

 

 

Part III – Captain’s Report

 

After a tumultuous third season at the helm, Skipper Westmoreland began by thanking the team for sticking with it despite a season of regular lows punctuated with only the occasional highs – despite this, the spirit of the team had shone through. Special praise for team members turning up each week, walking out to the middle and then walking back soon after. Martin then trotted out a plethora of stats proving he has lost none of his numeric zeal since resigning as Treasurer….

 

 

Moo’s stats:

 

The MAD have played 35 games

Scored over 4000 runs

Hit 505 boundaries (474 fours and 31 sixes)

Faced nearly 6000 balls

Taken over 200 wickets

Conceded nearly 5000 runs

Caught 73 catches, but probably dropped double that….

Ran 26 batsmen out

Collected 72 ducks

Won 9 and lost 26 matches

 

 

 

 

 

 

Amongst the skipper’s fondest memories from the season were:

 

Having a winning record after the first 3 matches.

The non-existent tournament to witness Paddy’s face – when the price of hot dogs were halved shortly after he’d bought one.

Pearson finally proving he can bat with a classy 71 at Wootton & Boars Hill CC.

Reevsie “cementing his place at the top of the order” with 29 at the Nomads – then failing to better it for the rest of the season whilst collecting ducks.

Being skittled for 71 at the Fat Boys.

The Blenheim collapse (those involved know who they were….)

Snapping the 13 match losing streak against a bunch of OAPs

The relief at Jake saying “yes” to skippering the T20s

An excellent tour to Southsea including Spam’s Hernia Hundred, Gonzo’s last stand, and Wonky eventually waking up with the bat to bag 95.

The T20 Bodleian game in the downpour where we snatched defeat from victory….

Reevsie’s 5-for at Astons CC.

Revenge against the Fat Boys whilst chasing down a record total.

 

 

 

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Gonzo’s champagne was not a product of that 35 run over.

 

 

Martin continued by making mention of a few new players joining and some older ones returning, and also a few who just couldn’t be arsed. Only one world to sum up the season – MAD! In closing an involving and interesting speech, he threw down another myriad of batting and bowling stats from the year….

 

 

More Moo stats:

 

Four batting partnership position wickets fell (2nd, 8th, 9th and 10th.

The most individual runs scored in a season is now 724 (Ian Howarth).

Paddy Mellor set a record for consecutive dismissals to run outs (5) – to quote Zamo from Grange Hill “just say NO!!!”

Howarth passed 4,500 runs, whilst D. Edwards and M. Westmoreland passed 2,500.

James Hoskins is 16 short of 1,000 career runs, and now 1 short of 200 wickets.

Duck records were shattered left right and centre.

Hoskins and Emerson broke the record for most wickets in a season – 38 and 35 respectively.

The most expensive over was recorded when Ian Leggate (above) went for 35 at Longparish CC on Tour.

 

 

 

 

Part IV – Treasurer’s Report

 

Mr. Reeves began his speech on the welfare of the club by stating that the Far from the MCC were solvent, but only just, as an income of £3,038 was offset by outgoings of £2,924. Mike was already prepared to run pettiness out of town and chase up any outstanding debts. There will be no quantitative easing, as there is no quantity to ease….

 

 

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Mike is so tight as Treasurer – the players had to buy their own dinner….

 

 

Subs are to remain at £30 for next season and match fees likewise at £5. All T20 matches will see their fees increased to £5 – although there will be no fines for the evening format. Extra revenue will hopefully be raised by a bastard Fines Chairman and the sponsorship of matches for Fantasy Cricket. In summarising, Mike declared that actually playing games was bad for finances and hopes 2012 is a complete washout.

 

 

 

 

Part V – Season 2011

 

Looking into the crystal ball, the club hope to make use of the Folly Bridge and Fir Tree whenever home matches allow (sponsorship has been mooted).

 

Details of nets and coaching will be posted when Dave Emerson and Andrew Darley have had time to sort after the New Year. The club are keen to improve players where the players want to improve themselves – if that is at all possible, which it probably isn’t.

 

 

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“This guy can get a coach to improve my batting? Fuck off.”

 

 

Martin will be ordering another round of merchandise in the New Year. Hoodies proved a spectacular success last term, whereas baggies were shite. Club whites have been mooted, but whatever the order – PLEASE SPECIFY YOUR SIZE! Failure to do so will leave you trying to clamber in apparel relating to “small”.

 

The size of The MAD’s playing staff is considered to be such there is room for a few extra cricketers. The emphasis here is on “cricketers” – i.e people who have actually played the game since primary school days and know which end of a bat to hold. The doors are considered closed to the further acquirement of “enthusiastic non-cricketing” types, but the club will entertain whoever in times of dire emergency….

 

 

 

Part VI – Tour 2012

 

 

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The Blue Beret will be an essential purchase before the 2012 Tour.

 

 

Next year’s Tour will encompass Great Yarmouth, Norfolk, whereby the club will seek to continue a friendship moulded this summer when hosting the Saxlingham Gents CC. Ian Howarth and Dave Emerson have stepped up to the role of Tour Organisers for this expedition next year. They purportedly will keep the club up-to-date as details are rubber stamped.

 

 

 

 

 

Part VII – Team Ethos

 

Occasionally it is felt necessary for the Chairman to bring certain matters to the attention of the team, for the good of the team. Next year will see the beginning of the “Clean up the Club” campaign.

 

It is felt the team as a whole need to conduct themselves far more responsibly on and off the pitch. A £10 fine is to be introduced for anyone caught drinking or smoking on the pitch. It is suggested that if a player feels the urge to do either during fielding that they seek the approval of the Skipper and leave the field of play. Whether they slip down the pecking order of being picked for subsequent matches is up to the Captain’s discretion. Drinking on the pitch is considered shoddy and undesirable.

 

 

 

“Ferrell underclasses” are to be targeted in the new campaign.

 

 

Language is regularly colourful and whilst the club has no problems in general with that, it is felt it should be moderated and at least monitored around minors and the general public. The age of FFTMCC children is now such that some of the players have actually become role models (god help the world)….

 

Whilst the above measures may seem draconian in some quarters, they were universally accepted by those present – and that the changing rooms are for the sanctuary of players only. There are to be NO children, women, dogs, cats, rabbits or prostitutes allowed in from this point onwards. The rooms represent the one place a player can let off steam. Action point for the team: PLEASE close the windows prior to a cob / loss of temper.

 

 

 

 

Part VIII – Committee Member Elections

 

Always a popular part of the evening – voting for the following season’s Committee positions would take up the following hour. Herewith the results after all votes were tallied, rigged and doctored….

 

 

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There was no elected position of ‘Director of Run Outs’ for Mr Mellor (left)….

 

 

 

Elected Committee Posts

 

Chairman

Matt Bullock

 - continues in the role, unopposed.

 

Fixtures Secretary

Ian Howarth

- wishes to continue in the position, unopposed.

 

Treasurer

Mike Reeves

 - to continue in his role and is duly elected, unopposed.

 

Captain

Martin Westmoreland

 - to continue as the Skipper, unopposed.

 

T20 Captain

Jake Hotson

 - to continue in his capacity as T20 Captain, unopposed.

Please note: he is open to bribes for the financial benefit of the Club to entertain ‘guest’ skippers on the day.

 

Vice Captain

Jake Hotson and Steve Dobner

 - to continue in their joint role, unopposed.

 

Director of Cricket

Dave Emerson

 - to continue in the role, unopposed.

 

 

*

 

Non-Committee Posts

 

Tour Organiser(s) 2012

Ian Howarth and Dave Emerson

- a coalition are enlisted for Tour. Jake Hotson and Thornton Smith (coalition) are muted for 2013.

 

Fines Chairman

Paddy Mellor and Dave Emerson

 - both contested the role, and both will brandish the gavel (equal vote).

 

Social Secretary

Dan Edwards

- ushered into the role after the resignation of incumbent Secretary Mr. Darley, unopposed.

 

Director of Overseas Development

Sandra Steinhauer

- is elected, seeing off applications from Chris Roberts and Nick Hebbes.

 

 

 

 

Part IX – FFTMCC Awards

 

The following MAD awards and trophies were voted upon whilst team members were pissed, tallied and rigged, with the below dubious winners announced….

 

 

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Dave Emerson holds aloft Ian Howarth’s POTS award.

 

 

 

 

 

A glass of wine

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Roll of MAD Honours

 

 

 

Player Of The Season

Dave Emerson

 

Most Improved Player

Jake Hotson

 

Effort

Jake Hotson

 

Champagne Moment

Ian Leggate

 - amazing back-peddling boundary catch (v Horspath CC #220)

 

James’ MAD Fantasy Cricket

James Pearson

 

 

 

 

Gary sinks to a new low….

 

 

 

Humorous and Lesser Miscellaneous Awards

 

 

Most Ducks

Gary Timms 

- a staggering 8 in total

 

 

 

 

Part X – Any Other Business

 

Anthony Mander is promoted to being recognised as an honouree “Patron” after many years bankrolling and playing for the Far from the MCC. And not before time we might add. A universally popular decision, it is hoped it encourages ‘Our Tony’ to part with another King’s ransom for club coffers in the forthcoming years.

 

 

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Apologies to Tony for the library footage.

 

 

 

 

Part XI – Club Auction

 

Last, but certainly by no means least, a special mention and round up of Jake’s Mad Club Kit Auction which took part towards the end of the evening….

 

 

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Welcome to a world of LBW pain next season, James.

 

 

Over the years the team has acquired a shed load of cricket gear (or shite) that is now largely redundant – save for equipment that Mr Hotson lugs around in multiple kit bags for each and every game. With the majority of players now owning their own kit, it was decided to offload an armoury of this “booty” in an auction to raise much needed collateral for club finances. A total of £174.50 was raised – so many thanks to Jake for organising.

 

 

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A list of some of the crap (above) that somehow found a new home.

 

 

Here is to a tremendous MAD season in 2012!!!