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“2013 AGM Report”
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The St. Aldates Tavern catered for The MAD’s
Annual General Meeting and provided a more up-market experience than recent
years. Located atop the main bar area opposite the Town Hall, the “Blue Room”
function room featured its own bar area and large video screen for laptop
projections – perfect for the screening of all the club’s photographic work
this year. A more than decent turnout ensured than the pre-requisite for £500
bar takings was easily met and sailed past….
The loot to be won
– including the new ‘Ade Fisher Performance Trophy’. Without further ado,
herewith the notes from the evening – or at least the varied and scattered
ones that made it onto a crumpled piece of paper in the back pocket of my
jeans…. ‘M. Inutes’
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Part I -
Notes on attendance Apologies for absence: Mike
Clarke (couldn’t be arsed to leave
Spain) Steve
Dobner (attending some children’s
party) Nick
Hebbes Ian
Leggate (couldn’t be arsed to fly from
the Canadian outback) Tony
Mander (double booked) Ben
Mander (double booked) Antony
Mann (couldn’t be arsed to fly from
some scorched Sydney mountainside) Jon
Newman-Robson Steve
Parkinson (out on some filthy weekend
with his missus) Ralph
Smith (Astons CC, apologies for
actually being there)
The Blue Room – caters for pissheads of all backgrounds. Present: Rob
Arkell Matt
Bullock (Chairman) Andrew
Darley Danial
Emerson Dave
Emerson (Director of Cricket) Richard
Hadfield James
Hoskins Jake
Hotson Ian
Howarth (Fixtures Secretary, Minutes) Nick
Hill Patrick
Mellor (Fines Chairman) James
Pearson Mike
Reeves (Treasurer) Chris
Roberts Mark
Rundle Dave
Shorten Thornton
Smith Gary
Timms (T20 Captain) Russell
Turner Jan
Webster Martin
Westmoreland (Captain) |
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Part II - Chairman’s Welcome After calling for order
following yet another delayed start to the evening due to late arrivals and
numerous journeys to the bar, Matt thanked everyone who had turned up and for
all those who had made the season a reasonably successful one. He made
mention that the ethos and integrity of the team had been maintained throughout
the season, and that due to the considerable contributions from all concerned
that the club has never been healthier. Mr. Bullock’s speech was
shorter than normal, citing that facts and figures from the year were on the
website and he couldn’t be arsed to go into detail. He finished by announcing
the Skipper had much more to say, so sat down and started getting pissed.
Neat and tidy, with very little
litter, that’s The MAD. Matt would also provide the
usual blitzkrieg of stats including the following notable MAD cricketing
career milestones, one of which is detailed below: 5000 career runs Ian
Howarth |
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Part III - Captain’s Report Following more delays for the
toilet and orders at the bar, Martin began by announcing The MAD’s worst kept
secret – that after an unprecedented fifth season at the helm, he was finally
handing in his Captain’s armband and relaxing back into the team. Martin
received a standing ovation and no little gift for his efforts…. Due in no small measure to an
injury ravaged season, Moo said he felt like Captain Fraud, due to his
limited appearances. He thanked Dave Emerson and Russ Turner for their
sterling work as Vice Skippers in his absence. Martin was thankful to the
team’s indomitable spirit, and also celebrated some fantastic collapses in
keeping with other notable fuck ups over past years.
Of his most treasured
memories as Skipper, he talked about his decision to have no toss at
Tetsworth CC and let them bat. 357 runs later after they declared, Martin may
have had time to reflect on that decision…. Highlights included the much
overdue win in Appleton (away in 2012), and of course the quite incredible
match versus Isis CC at Cassington, which brought the curtain down on his
magnificent tenure. Martin wrapped things up by
again thanking everyone for their efforts, and presenting Dave Emerson with
£5 in coins (above) to settle a bet he had waged that he would score more
runs than Moo over the course of the season. |
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Part IV - Treasurer’s Report Mr. Reeves began his speech
by commenting that finances were yet to be finalised, as the team as a whole
had to spend over £500 at the bar for the hire of the venue, though he
needn’t have worried…. The club played 33 out of 36 games, and made £327 in
profit. £448 was raised in fines, £555 in subs, and £600 in sponsorship. A
special mention to Jake, Russ and Tony Mander who donated over £300. Also
thanks to Russ, Ian and Paddy who collected monies in Mike’s absence.
Cloughie’s head obscured The MAD slideshow for most the evening…. Money blown on Tour amounted
to more than £200, although it was offset by James Hoskins flutter at the
bookies which netted the club some £450 – big thanks and warm applause to
gambling addict JMO. Other figures trotted out in an endless corporate speech
included shit about yearly monies in and out, but basically, as a Club, we’re
doing fine. For next year, subs to stay
at £30 or £15 unwaged. Match fees are to remain at £5. Fines are encouraged,
as is the sponsoring of games before the season starts – especially by those
in gainful employment. |
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Part V - Season 2014 Ground
/ Pub The team are happy at
Brasenose and thank the groundsman, Dan, for all his efforts. They will make
use of Jesus College if there are problems with bookings. Rob Arkell
(present) announced that with the Marsh Harrier now under new owners, the pub
may well be interested in being a sponsor (Rob is the incumbent chef). Nets Details of nets and coaching
will be worked out by Andy Darley. The club are keen to use modified
facilities at the recently refurbished Oxford School (off Glanville Road). A session
at Dummer will hopefully follow before the start of the season on Sunday,
April 13th.
Kit Martin will most likely be
ordering another round of merchandise in the New Year. Hoodies have proved a
spectacular success the last two years, whereas baggies were total shite –
although he is happy they fit his ample sized head. Players The club welcomes a few new
faces in the New Year – hopefully ones who have seen a bat and a ball before.
Nets may prove to be a happy hunting ground as per usual, as does corporate
giant Centrica (Cowley) – where half the team have recently come from. Fixtures The ballache of sorting
fixtures for 2014 is well underway, with Ian announcing there are only 3
spare Sundays left. He hopes to have good news regarding Mr. Bullock’s chosen
option of the Bell Inn (Aldworth CC) in the coming weeks. T20 matches are
usually filled going into the New Year when League fixtures have been
announced by certain opposition. |
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Part VI - Tour 2014 The Club’s 2014 Tour was announced
by Paddy Mellor as being a trip to Shrewsbury. Breaking from tradition, it
will not involve travelling to the seaside, but to another landlocked area of
England. There is a however some water in the form of the River Severn, which
when pissed, is big enough to pretend it is a sea – and maybe the possibility
of a boat trip?
The MAD will not be staying at Shrewsbury Castle…. Three matches including 2 x
T20s are confirmed for Tour and accommodation is booked, although a scout of
the area reveals there to be no Pirate Golf (a glaring omission). Mr. Mellor
was congratulated on his efforts, who in turn thanked Mr. Darley for doing
absolutely fuck all in the way of helping him organise anything (as
previously arranged at last year’s AGM). |
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Part VII - Committee Member Elections Always a popular part of the evening, the voting for
committee positions was as always up for re-election. The following results
were realised after all hands were counted….
Elected Committee Posts Chairman Matt Bullock - continues as Chairman,
unopposed. Fixtures
Secretary Ian Howarth - continues as Fixtures Secretary, opposed
by himself (1 vote). Treasurer Mike Reeves - continue in his role and is duly elected,
unopposed. Captain Ian Howarth - elected ‘interim’ Skipper, opposed by Jake
Hotson (3 votes). Ian’s role as Skipper in lieu
of handing things to Gary Timms towards the end of the year. Vice
Captain Russell Turner - is nominated and elected by
Skipper I. Howarth. T20
Captain Gary Timms - continues as T20 Skipper, unopposed. Director
of Cricket Dave Emerson - elected, fighting off competition from
Thornton Smith (3 votes).
Social /
Fines Mastermind Mr. Mellor, holds onto his titles from Giant Duck [seated
behind]. * Non-Committee Posts T20
Vice Captain Dave Emerson - wishes to take on this
role, unopposed. Tour
Organiser(s) 2015 Andrew Darley and Patrick Mellor - a coalition per se are elected, unopposed. Fines
Chairman Patrick Mellor - will continue in the role, unopposed. Social
Secretary Paddy Mellor - narrowly beat off competition from Giant
Duck (2 votes). |
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Part VIII - FFTMCC Awards Following yet another delay
for toilet visits and extra beer, the following Mad awards and trophies were
voted upon and the dubious winners announced as follows….
Finally, but Mike is still bitter about his Marlborough snub those many
moons ago….
Roll of MAD Honours Player
Of The Season Mike Reeves Most
Improved Player Geoff Carter Clubman
of the Year Ian Howarth (formerly known as ‘Effort’) Champagne
Moment Jon Newman-Robson - fourth wicket of his amazing 4-trick (v OUP #284) Stan’s
MAD Fantasy Cricket Russell Turner Team ‘The Turner-Minators’ Adrian
Fisher Performance Trophy Jon Newman-Robson - stupendously memorable 4-trick (v OUP #284)
James Hoskins tries to explain the
ever more convoluted Fantasy Rules and Regulations…. Before the announcement of
the Fantasy Cricket winner (Russ), JMO made mention that both Stevie D and
Ant had both been disqualified for ‘illegal joker’ use (no sponsorship
equates to no joker). This ruling, however, will not be
enforced in 2014, as the rule is being abolished. Also, there are plans afoot
for a mid-season transfer window to get rid of your underperforming clowns
for some other underperforming clowns. |
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Part IX - Any Other Business On conclusion of The MAD
Agenda, a fresh batch of MAD Top Trumps was made available to all interested
parties. Naturally players immediately began bitching and moaning about their
‘Boozability’ rating after sifting through the deck. The packs were
considered great fun, but not quite up to the quality of the previous Monster
Mates editions from 2009. The evening was declared a spectacular success and
a special effort was then made to up the bar takings even further….
Here
is to an enjoyable 2014!!! |
