“2023 AGM Report”

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05-07 | 08-17 | 18 | 19 | 20-21 | 22 | 23

The MAD assembled once more atop the St Aldates in the Blue Room for the annual AGM piss-up. It would have a Xmas flavour due to the meeting landing on the 1st of December, married to an abundance of Xmas décor in and outside the venue. The pub itself is ideally located in the centre of town near various transport hubs (if they’re not striking), boasts a good selection of beers/ciders, friendly and knowledgeable bar staff and a decent projection screen and sound system.

The Blue Room is on the first floor….

Without further ado, herewith the appended notes from the evening for season 2023 … or at least the ones that were vaguely readable on a crumpled, cider-stained piece of paper….

‘T20 Skipper’

Part I - Notes on attendance

Apologies for absence:

Lee Ainsworth (young Blake was sick)

Giant Duck (trapped in a Honda Civic)

David Emerson (gout)

James Hoskins

Tony Mander

Paddy Mellor

Jonathan Newman-Robson

Corne Vermaak (lost in Hungerford)

Pissheads of the Square Table….

Present:

Matt Bullock (Chairman, Statto)

Geoff Carter

Joe Cartwright

Andrew Darley

Richard Hadfield

John Harris

Nick Hill

Jake Hotson (Tour Director)

Ian Howarth (Fixtures Secretary, T20 Skipper & Pissed Minutes)

Mike Reeves (Treasurer)

Chris Roberts

Mark Rundle

David Shorten

Gary Timms

Russell Turner (Regular Skipper)

Jan Webster

Chris Williams

Part II - Chairman’s Welcome

Chairing his fifty third MAD AGM in lieu of nobody else ever being MAD Chairman, Matt set out by stipulating the following bulletin points to encapsulate season 2023….

He was sad to report the passing of a former player, who not many or any of the present team will remember, but his old school friend Phil Holt. MAD Player #31, AKA 4.1, he played 3 games for the club in 1999/2000 but lost his fight with cancer earlier in the year. RIP Phil.

On a happier note, Matt could report success on the pitch, including a run of five wins after a WET but enjoyable Tour to Suffolk. He made special mention of thanks to the captains: Russ, Ian and Gary, Jake and Lee… and those that stepped in on Tour.

JMO sent Matt a message as an AOB, but he included it in his speech, being that it was the beginning rather than at the end of the evening when everybody is pissed and nobody is listening. He continued “…I would like to note what an absolute pleasure it has been to see more of Lee this term, a delight to have him on the field and to be Captained by him during the season. In addition, it is wonderful to have Blake on the boundary to entertain and be entertained by.”

He concluded by adding that “those who helped should be proud of what they did; and everyone else should be grateful for what they did.”

Chair Bullock and a table of assorted MAD accolades….

Part III – Captain(s) Report

Spam (T20) said very little other than thanking Gary and the team for their support over the year, preferring instead to give the stage to Russ who is far better at speeches than he.

Captain Turner read from a script as long as War and Peace, by firstly thanking Mike / Kate for again providing the teas. It does take a lot of time and effort, and especially on the occasions when Mike didn’t even play.

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Mr Turner delivering a whimsical speech to those in attendance….

His script was voluminous and if you want the full transcript, you can contact him directly or (shock horror) make sure you attend the event itself in future. An amusing excerpt is the following:

“The Annual General Meeting or AGM for short, so what is it? It’s our end of season gathering where we discuss the club, reflect on the successes & failings of the past season over a few drinks and a bit of buffet grub, present various awards and vow that next season to do even better. But… I have 2 x other meanings for an AGM from this season:

The 1st meaning: Andy Godfrey Meeting

Andy Godfrey was someone who Jan brought to nets and seemed keen to play. Here’s a little story but just to clarify:

So, I sent out availability emails for the first few games but got Andy’s email address [slightly incorrect]. I received a response from the Non-MAD Non-Player Andrew Godfrey informing me he did not play cricket, he was not the correct person and to stop sending him emails. So, I apologized [to him] and said I would remove his email address. However, I removed the wrong one! I then received an email threatening to report me… to who? Who knows…. I then explained the mix up to the Potential MAD Player Andrew Godfrey but got fuck all correspondence back [from him either]….

The 2nd Meaning: Annual Geoff Mix-Up

This is a conversation with Geoff for availability v Appleton CC:

R – “Morning Geoff, are you available for this one or are you saving yourself for Tour?”

G – “I was saving myself for Tour, but I’ll play if needed.”

R – “Ok, I’ve got a few more replies to come, so I’ll see what response I get but I should have enough.”

The MAD replies come back and sure enough I have 11 so we’re all good.

R - “Hi Geoff, I’ve got 11 so you can save yourself for Tour.”

A couple of hours later I get an email from Geoff: “Yes” to the original availability email…!?

Then John Harris drops out and Geoff ends up playing anway….

There was a smorgasbord of stats, many great laughs and Russ is very much someone to hold court and have you amused whilst you swig back the beers! Will leave this final salvo in print:

MOST MAD APPEARANCES

Mike 24, Nuno 21 & Psycho 20

“Psycho proved there is cricket after death. In his first game back after “Heartgate” [versus Enstone], his first ball was hit for 4 and the second ball he skittled the stumps to end with figures of 3 for 23. He also had 3Fers v W&B & Islip. He can also now be classed as a MAD all-rounder as he:

· Took 23 wickets in total.

· Had a batting Average of 37.50 only being out twice … third behind Lee & Nuno.

· Took 7 Catches – just don’t rely on him midweek as religiously they were all caught on a Sunday.

[applause]

Part IV - Treasurer’s Report

Mike Reeves’ presentation rolled on from the previous year in avoiding heavy details as most in attendance were either concentrating on drinking or chatting idly in ignorance anyway. The main points to take away are outlined under the below photo of said Treasurer….

Last year we had £2142, this year £2791, so we made a substantial £650 profit on the year. This was largely due to playing more away games, something that was encouraged to the Fixture Secretary going from previous years.

Subs will be staying at £40 for 2024, with Sunday games remaining £10 and T20’s £5.

We thank our hosts on the Tour to Suffolk, two games in particular where barbeques were laid on and we weren’t charged a single penny (very magnanimous indeed).

There is a list of MAD debtors who will be carried over to next year, but not John Harris, a noble gentleman who paid up on the night. So well done, John and boos to those with negative balances.

Part V - Fixtures and Tour for 2024

Rather than ramble on about the usual formulative 30-35 fixtures and bore everyone to death, Fixture Secretary Mr Spam instead handed out a sheet of paper to all attendees with a fixtures wordsearch printed on it. The first person to find all 24 teams already signed up for the next calendar year would win a pair of Howzat cricket shirts (West Indies v England 2019). Nobody did win, although Timms came closest (sadly unable to find “NEDSPI” or Ipsden in reverse) and Matt made everyone chuckle by finding a bunch of words with no real meaning….

It is a wordsearch Spam and not a cross word….

…Russ would expand on fixtures with news of the current Tour itinerary to Minehead in 2024. Train trips to Stogumber and Watchet on the Thursday/Friday and a Sunday match against Timberscombe before setting off back home. Dates of Tour for all those interested are August 1-4 and you will need to find your own accommodation.

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Stock footage from 2019 as some kid smacks some of Spam’s crap about at Stogumber….

Part VI - Committee Member Elections

Once upon a time, the election of MAD officers was a popular and hugely exciting part of the evening, but now under a strict dictatorship, nobody stands against anyone in a position of power unless they can afford an attorney and/or they are pissed. Therefore, nobody in a position of authority was challenged and nobody has a date in court.

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